Course Recording

Q&A Recording
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Pastoral Care Theoretical Foundation Training (Course 301) — Lesson 2 Assignment

1. Please listen to the recordings above.
2. Take proper notes.
3. Based on the topic of this lesson, raise your confusions or questions.
4. Submit both your notes and your questions to your pastoral district leader.
5. Then proceed to the next lesson.

(06:00)

1. Several biblical perspectives: 1) Jehovah is my Shepherd; 2) Jesus said, “If you love Me, shepherd My sheep”; 3) the church is Jehovah’s army. Could Pastor briefly explain how these perspectives can be linked together? When we begin a conversation with newcomers who are seeking, how can we lead them to reflect on their understanding of “church”? (Qinqin)

(15:40)

2. A new sister is having difficulties with her assignments. She cannot type, so I taught her to share through voice messages. Deep down, she feels that her educational level is inadequate and that she is illiterate. She places greater importance on prayer. How should I teach her in such a situation? (Suni)

Questions on Building Pastoral Relationships

1. I find that most people like to teach others. Sometimes, even when they are clearly talking nonsense, once you correct them, they turn around and try to teach you instead. The result is that one lives with a smell of gunpowder all day long. A pastoral relationship is one of leadership and submission. Must we remove the relationship of friendship before a pastoral relationship can be established? Can a pastoral relationship coexist with a peer relationship? (Ben)

(25:30)

2. Teacher, in building a relationship with a sister under my pastoral care, I can help her solve problems through teaching the word of God, dealing with her bad habits, imparting faith, and expressing love. In what other areas can I improve myself to strengthen the pastoral relationship?

3. Teacher, pastoral relationships are service in love. How should this “love” be properly measured, so that both the pastor and the person being pastored may benefit? (Xuanjun)

4. Teacher, when we are serious about pastoral care, the person being pastored may initially appear serious as well. But gradually, we find that the person is merely pretending. What should we do then? (Xuanjun)

(34:10)

5. Teacher mentioned in the lesson that we are one body that loves one another. Whether we can pass on God’s love depends entirely on pastoral relationships. How should we better understand this statement? (Xiaonai)

6. Teacher, when a pastor has the heart of a father or mother, does the extent to which this is expressed toward each person being served also depend on the depth of the relationship? (Ruying)

7. To establish a pastoral relationship in love, some sheep being pastored are rather passive. They do not take the initiative to contact their pastor or report their situation. How can we help such sheep become more proactive? (David)

8. Teacher, should we continue building a relationship with someone who has a tendency to judge good and evil? If a pastoral relationship needs to be established, how should it be done? Are there any good ways to build such a relationship? (Ma Xile)

9. During pastoral care, some people have no need for healing and deliverance, and their finances and work are all right. Therefore, they hardly ever contact their pastor on their own. They simply like listening to the teacher’s sermons, yet they do not put them into practice. Although it is clear that they love the world and money, the curse seems not yet to have come upon them. No matter how much they are taught, there seems to be little effect. Teacher, how can we build a close pastoral relationship with such people and help them grow?

(40:10)

10. Teacher, do you have any particular strategy for building pastoral relationships with people who are the silent, closed-off type?

11. I am serving a sister, but the process of building a pastoral relationship has been rather difficult. How should I continue to move it forward? Specifically, I have served her for several months. Recently, I began leading her in healing, deliverance, and casting out demons. At present, the thought, “There is no need for me to listen to you,” is rather evident in her. When I began requiring some basic new-believer training and the formation of study habits—for example, attending meetings on time and taking notes—she repeatedly acted as though she had not heard me. She moves only after being pushed several times. When I try to find out whether she has encountered difficulties, the problems she describes are all solvable. Yet she stubbornly insists that there is no way forward, and she cannot take in other teachings. I can sense that she does not want to follow the growth path designed by the church. She prefers to follow her own preferences. I believe this is related to her not recognising the pastoral relationship between us. How can we truly establish this relationship from here onward?

(46:15)

12. I am pastoring a sister. At the beginning, she showed strong resentment toward me and did not raise any prayer needs. She only posted in the group matters which she thought required “intercession,” and she was impatient with teaching. Later, she said that she suddenly no longer resented me and was willing to come to me voluntarily for prayer. Every time I led her in prayer, she received much deliverance. But I then found that, although she would not openly resist, she did not really take in the teaching. She has her own internal logical system concerning offerings, the church, and pastoral relationships. When I point out her problems because I hope she will be blessed, she simply does not understand and keeps explaining herself. In this process, I often do not know how far our relationship has developed. How should I move forward?

13. A person being pastored does not tell the pastor all his problems. He comes to the pastor only when he truly cannot solve them himself. What level of pastoral relationship is this? (Baijia)

(53:30)

14. As a pastor, I am very willing to engage in serious pastoral care. But some people—usually those without physical illnesses, who are unwilling to speak about other problems—only want to follow the church, listen to the pastor’s Bible studies, sermons, and prayers. They do not want to be pastored, nor do they think they have any problems. They regard a pastor’s initiative and concern as disturbance or control, and they are not appreciative. When the pastor points out areas where they need to grow, they do not accept it either. This leaves the pastor with the feeling that one is forcing oneself upon someone who does not want it. How can we build a pastoral relationship with such people? How can we stir up in them a desire to be pastored? (Yanzi)

(1:00:30)

15. How do we judge whether the relationship between a pastor and a servant is healthy? In what areas is this reflected? (Kuaile Fen)

16. If the person being served is very submissive and completes every task assigned by the pastor, does that mean it is a healthy relationship? (Kuaile Fen)

17. In pastoral care, is “paying the price” the most important thing? (Liangliang)

(1:06:30)

18. In pastoral care, as one goes along, one may become lazy and slack, no longer as fervent or willing to pay the price as at the beginning. I am now pastoring someone who has the same problem as I do. How can we grow together? (Beautiful Girl)

19. Whether I am pastoring my family members or others, my heart is full of passion, and I feel that I am serious about it. Yet the results of my pastoral care are not encouraging. Where has the problem arisen? Teacher, what does it mean to shepherd seriously and genuinely?

20. The church speaks of relationships of loving one another. Is such a relationship limited to pastors and sheep? In our present situation, there are different pastoral districts and different pastors, and some sheep may not know one another. Yet, because we are in the same church and have the same destiny, can there still be a relationship of love among us? (Xixi)

(1:16:30)

21. Teacher, how do we build a good pastoral relationship? What specific work needs to be done?

22. Teacher, when the person being shepherded and the pastor hold different views on the same issue, what should the sheep do?

23. Teacher, the person being pastored has a bad habit of pretending. Are there any special methods for dealing with this while building a relationship with him?

24. If a person is lukewarm, how do we determine whether it is spiritual bondage or merely a matter of the person’s own attitude? How can we build a pastoral relationship with someone who is lukewarm?

(1:21:00)

25. While pastoring Sister XX, I was truly willing to pay the price to serve her. She could not sleep lying down and often experienced shortness of breath. I led her in prayer day and night. But later, when I taught her and dealt with some of her fleshly bad habits, she became very unwilling to listen. She did not like hearing my teaching; she only wanted me to lead her in prayer. I thought that our pastoral relationship was very good and that I loved her, because I was the one who brought her into Chinese Mingding Doctrine, with the intention of solving her problems. May I ask where my pastoral care went wrong? Why does my teaching irritate people? Why is it that, although I clearly love her, she thinks that I do not love her? How should such a situation be handled? (Meizi)

Fleshly Bad Habits

1. Teacher, sometimes dealing with the bad habits of those we serve requires severity, but we must also get the measure right. Yet it is difficult for me even to be stern, and I do not know how to judge the right degree of firmness. Could Teacher give me a few tips?

2. How should we pastor people who are like underachievers and losers?

3. Teacher, regarding the statement: “When we see a person growing, the most important thing is to deal with the bad habits in him. If you want to deal with them, conflict is inevitable.” If conflict arises, how should it be handled afterwards? (Xuanjun)

4. Teacher, while breaking the flesh, how do we build the other person’s faith? How should we grasp the relationship and balance between the two? Is it that, in the process of breaking the flesh, the person sees his own growth, and thus his faith is built? (Suni)

5. Concerning when to push someone into work: there is a full-time mother who does nothing each day except send and pick up her children. She has been with us for more than half a year. When should we begin encouraging her to work? (Gideon)

(1:25:30)

6. Some sheep have experienced much of God’s grace. Yet the moment we deal with their flesh, they become anxious. Some cannot even listen to God’s word. They are unwilling to leave, but they are also unable to move forward. How should we pastor them in such a situation?

7. In the process of pastoral care, dealing with people’s bad habits will inevitably lead to conflict. Sometimes, even if there is no conflict, conflict must be created. Could Teacher explain how to create conflict, manage conflict, and transform conflict?

The Problem of Loving the World (1:27:15)

1. Through this lesson, I learned how to establish a loving pastoral relationship with those being pastored: to serve them with the heart of a father or mother, and to weep with those who weep. Then Teacher also said that pastoral care must learn to deal with people’s problems. I find it difficult to grasp this point properly. There is a sister who is very zealous in serving her father. When taking notes, she often writes about how she has paid the price to serve her father. She also often goes out to serve brothers and sisters from other churches. But when it comes to dealing with her own problems, she often sits by her bed to pray during prayer meetings, and then falls asleep. Teacher, is this person pretending? In her words, this sister hopes that I can serve her father. But her father has always loved the world and has been unwilling to believe in God, so his condition keeps recurring. I feel that such service produces no result. Therefore, I would like to ask Teacher: in such a situation, how can I both weep with those who weep and deal with this sister’s bad habits?

(1:32:30)

2. A person being pastored has gone to the hospital because of a serious illness. In such a situation, apart from showing concern and asking after the person, what else should we do? (Xuelian)

Concerning Lack of Understanding

1. Concerning a lack of understanding: a sister often listens to sermons, but her understanding never seems to become clear. For example, she watches every day to see whether her husband has read the Bible or prayed. If he has done so, she is pleased. How should we teach this kind of person? (Gideon)

Healing and Deliverance

1. Teacher, I am very selfish and indulgent toward the flesh, but I truly want to become someone who serves seriously and is willing to pay the price. The greater challenge is sleep. Sometimes, after sleeping late, I am still energetic the next day, and my faith increases greatly. At other times, my head feels heavy and my body feels unwell, and then I indulge the flesh again. Afterwards, I blame myself. My pastor says that I should view my growth with a developmental perspective and look at its overall trend. But I have never been able to put this into practice. I always feel that this means accepting that I have sinned. Teacher, should I simply put aside all these messy thoughts and believe that God will surely help me?

Pastoring Children

(1:39:15)

1. I have begun to pastor my children. My son is 16 and my daughter is 13. They have both been in church with us for many years. After studying this lesson, I feel that, in terms of pastoral relationships, I have fatherly love for them. But many times I feel that I am too considerate toward them. I often think that if I push them too hard, they will resent it, and the result may be counterproductive. Is it more difficult for parents to pastor their own children than to pastor ordinary brothers and sisters? For a Christian who is just beginning to learn how to pastor, is pastoring one’s own children an appropriate starting point? (Bryan)

Financial Issues

(1:41:45)

1. I have been serving a sister for a little over four months. When she first came, it was because of financial problems. In the past, whenever she and her husband invested, they were either cheated or the investment failed. They have struggled in this way for decades. Not long ago, they borrowed 600,000 to invest in a tungsten mine. But because various procedures could not be completed, the project has remained stalled. Their partner said he would return the money, but more than a month has passed and he has not done so. This sister is very worried. My question is: should I focus on her financial problems, or on the underlying issues that led to her financial problems? This sister is easily anxious about worldly matters and has a strong mentality of lack. My approach is to build her faith in God, so that she may begin to become a person who trusts in God. Is this right? (Vivian)

Concerning Pastoring Family Members

(1:47:30)

1. The church teaches us about the relationship between pastoring and being pastored. But outside the church, such as in family relationships and the workplace, how should we build healthy interpersonal relationships? Can these spiritual principles be applied? How should we apply them? Thank you, Teacher, for your guidance. (Angie)

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