1: Issues in the Mother-Child Relationship
Mother A:
The child has been primarily cared for by her grandparents since she was young, especially by her grandmother. She has a close relationship with her grandparents, and her relationship with us is relatively weaker.
For example, during our last vacation visit, she preferred to spend more time with her grandparents, especially at night when she needed to sleep with her grandmother to feel secure.
Mother B:
The child is rebellious, disobedient, and defiant.
I always feel that nothing he does is good, and other children are always better. I often criticize him.
I often scold him, and even whip him.
Mother C:
There is a lack of trust between us, and I feel that everything he says is false.
Mother D:
Estranged relationship with the father, suppressing dissatisfaction and resentment. Now she dares to speak up. The relationship with the mother is okay, with basic trust. She can share her feelings with her mother and acknowledge her problems.
Mother E:
Parents are dispensable, filled with fear and helplessness towards them. Always comparing her to other children, saying she can't do anything right.
The child completely distrusts me, doesn't share anything, and is disobedient.
Mother F:
Generally speaking, the main issue is a lack of obedience.
I lack authority, and the instructions I give are often forgotten intentionally or unintentionally. The stricter I am and the harsher the punishments, the better he behaves after a few rounds, knowing it hurts. But there are many issues, and if I were to be strict, he would be punished every day. I can't bear it, and I'm conflicted, especially since they are mostly small matters of daily habits. Sometimes I don't want to punish him, or I forget myself. As a result, he doesn't take it seriously until he is beaten and punished, and then he changes. The process is arduous, constantly battling. My problem is greater, still indulging the flesh.
The child doesn't know how to be considerate of his mother. He is very kind to his classmates and friends, but he takes my efforts for granted. For example, if I ask him to put down his toys and do a little more housework than usual, or if he is tired after coming home from outside, he is unwilling to work. But his complaining attitude ignites my anger. He knows his mother is good to him, but he takes it for granted, only thinking about what his mother does for him, never thinking about what he can do for his mother, not even a word of comfort.
I only teach him about this when I am angry, lacking regular guidance in everyday life.
2: Challenges Mothers Face in Handling Child Education
Mother A:
My biggest challenge is differing opinions with the grandparents on education. The grandparents indulge Siqi's flesh.
The child's learning ability is slightly slower than that of her peers. For example, while children of the same age can feed themselves at 2 years old, my child still needs her grandmother to feed her. I have communicated with the grandparents multiple times, hoping that Siqi can try to feed herself, but the grandparents believe that feeding the child is normal and doesn't need to be changed.
Mother B:
Often, I don't know how to educate my child.
Mother C:
Impatient speech, scolding, blaming, and criticizing are frequent, with very little encouragement. I get angry and frustrated when I see him being listless.
Mother D:
The child rarely fully complies with the requirements I give.
Shows aversion to parental discipline.
It is difficult to influence the child to believe in the Lord.
I don't know how to teach the child about negative expressions.
Mother E:
The child is rebellious and lies.
Mother F:
In reality, the child's problems are the parents' problems. My challenge is mainly in insufficient implementation. There is academic performance to supervise learning, but education in other aspects is often more casual, lacking clear goals and steps to achieve them.
Mother G:
After pointing out the child's problems, he can correct them for a few days, but it doesn't last long.
3: Problems Mothers Discover in Their Children
Mother A:
She likes to show off and be praised. She becomes unhappy when she sees children who are better than her.
She can complete the tasks assigned by the teacher in learning, but she is reluctant to do extra things.
Self-centered, believing that the good food and drinks at home should all be hers. She only shares with others after she is done eating.
Mother B:
The child's attitude toward learning is not correct. Homework is for playing, handwriting is sloppy, and 60% is wrong.
Parents themselves don't know how to do some problems.
The child is timid, not confident enough, and afraid of not doing well.
Acts wild and sometimes gets carried away.
Very slow, disorganized in doing things.
Mother C:
The son indulges the flesh severely. He easily turns against people when it comes to eating, drinking, and games.
Steals money, sells things, throws things, and hits and scolds parents.
Takes a break from school because getting up early for self-study is too tiring.
Gets injured easily and dwells on past illnesses and hospitalizations. Remembers and doesn't let go when his mother doesn't pick him up from school on rainy days.
Loses his temper and throws things over small matters.
No respect or gratitude towards parents, often threatening suicide and dropping out of school.
Doesn't know the meaning of life.
Fears: Fear of going to school, fear of working, fear of taking the bus, fear of going out and socializing with people.
Obese, bullied, mocked, and discriminated against by classmates, feels inferior.
Disliked by teachers.
Believes that there are game universities in the country, so games are good.
Lacks self-discipline, patience, and gives up halfway.
Often lies, says one thing and does another.
Mother D:
The child is slow in doing things, taking a long time to do homework, go to the bathroom, and wash shoes.
Late for class, poor sense of time.
Procrastinates, easily gives up and compromises.
Mother E:
If she doesn't know how to do something, she won't learn it and wastes time.
Easily distracted by other online content while studying and switches to playing on the phone.
Poor thinking ability, rigid.
Doesn't understand what the teacher is saying.
Cannot persist in learning, always gives up halfway.
Lazy.
Mother F:
Timid, afraid of the dark;
Self-protective, makes all sorts of excuses for his mistakes;
Gluttonous, afraid of pain
Mother G:
Loves to eat, lazy, cannot actively take care of personal hygiene, lazy, doesn't like sports, doesn't like to study, lacks politeness, introverted.