Wise Men Have Healthy Relationships
It has been months since we started learning. Have you all become smarter? If you have become smarter through these months of learning, then we have achieved our goal. To know if you have become smarter, look at your relationships. In interpersonal relationships, one's lifelong intelligence and foolishness are fully displayed. We must know that we are now paying the price for past foolishness, or reaping the fruits of past intelligence.
A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment. (Proverbs 18:1)
From the first verse of this chapter, we can see that if a person is eccentric, it will be difficult to interact with others. Everyone should be careful. It's not a good thing for a person to have eccentric habits. The young people among us, if their character is eccentric, should be foolish. Whether you are in college or in the army, 6-8 people have to live in one room, and even more people live in one barracks. When you live with others, it is easy to see the difference in interpersonal relationships between those with eccentric personalities and those with gentle temperaments.
People with good interpersonal relationships are not necessarily too smart, but they are certainly not too foolish, but people with eccentric personalities must be foolish. If you are currently in a romantic relationship, you must observe the other person's interpersonal relationships. You can see many problems from interpersonal relationships. We see whether people have wisdom through interpersonal relationships! This is today's theme. Everyone asks themselves, what kind of person am I? Are my interpersonal relationships good? Don't always think that people are sorry for you, let alone think that you are great. Why are you the one being bullied?
In my past years of ministry, I have summarized an experience: as long as a person seeks his own desires in his heart, he feels that he is always right and that he is justified. He feels that everyone in this world, including his own parents, is letting him down. For people who can't even manage their relationship with their parents, even if they speak with great emotion and reason, everyone must not think that it is the parents who are letting him down. The problem lies with him.
A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own opinion. (Proverbs 18:2)
Generally, you can see how selfish a person is through their own preferences. Especially those who are selfish towards their parents are no better towards others. This is a reminder to those who are in a romantic relationship. Of course, if they have good relationships with others, but not with you, then that is also fatal.
Principles of Friendship for Wise Men
A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
People who have too many friends will not end up well. They are destroying themselves through their own foolishness. This chapter talks a lot about speaking, such as making friends is about everyone getting together and talking very speculatively. It is impossible not to communicate with each other. If you stare at each other for a long time and have nothing to say, you certainly won't make friends. Once, our church held an event, and a little girl came to Singapore to study alone. The church became a place for her to make new friends. She especially likes to hang out with those who like to corrupt people and have problems in their character. She doesn't listen to advice, as if she can't do without those people.
Later I understood that no one can stop a person from being foolish. Everyone sits down in a circle, and she must sit with those people. After the church gathering, she prefers to leave with those people. Being alienated from the crowd is foolish, but making too many friends is no better. When we read this passage together, we know that Proverbs talks about wisdom, knowledge, and intelligence. People must have wisdom. I don't like to make friends very much. It seems that I have good friends, but they are all like the ancient Chinese saying, A gentleman's friendship is as light as water. There is no need for too much language communication between each other.
I find that the situation of killing familiar people and not deceiving unfamiliar people is very common. Everyone is very vigilant when a stranger comes over on the street. It is not easy to deceive unfamiliar people, but the success rate of deceiving friends is much higher. So everyone should be careful when making friends. Don't be like the girl I served before and only make bad friends. She couldn't survive in Singapore in the end and returned to China. After returning to China, she continued to make too many friends. She got a boyfriend and was dumped by him. She was very painful and came to the church to find me again. This girl is a fool. The best blessing I can give her is to fix her into a smart person.
The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters, But the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook. (Proverbs 18:4)
The words people say are very deep. This is not a good thing. If the water is deep, people will drown if they fall in. But if you have wisdom, you will be a blessing to many people. We can judge what kind of person a person is through the way he makes friends, what kind of friends he makes, and how he relates to others.
A fool’s lips enter into contention, And his mouth calls for blows. A fool’s mouth is his destruction, And his lips are the snare of his soul. The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, And they go down into the inmost body. (Proverbs 18:6-8)
Although this passage seems to be all about talking to people, it is not just that. It is more about the interpersonal relationships brought about by people's words.
When wickedness comes, contempt also comes; And with dishonor comes reproach. (Proverbs 18:3)
I don't like to make friends very much, but do you think I have friends? I definitely do. I have my own set of logic for making friends: First, this friend must be worth making; second, this friend must love me and have the ability to love me. Otherwise, you will either make a greasy friend who eats and drinks all day long. Everything is fine at ordinary times, but when something really happens, he will slip away. Or you will make a friend who doesn't slip away, but he can only look at you and then be sad with you. This is useless!
So the relationship between people and God and between people can show whether a person is smart or not. A Christian I served had been a believer for more than 30 years, but had only read the Bible once. What do you think of his relationship with God? It's really not good! From a person's state of belief, you can see his relationship with God. I really boast in the Lord Jesus! Since knowing Him, I have been holding on to Him tightly.
The Relationship Between Man and God is the Most Important
When I walked into the church on the first day, the first hymn I heard sang like this: Although Jesus is a king, He is willing to be friends with you! When I heard this lyric, I was so moved that tears welled up in my eyes! At that time, I was in a situation where I was calling to heaven and earth without response. It was the time when I needed friends the most. Knowing that there is such a God in this world, and He is willing to be my friend, I was especially moved. Later, I didn't make friends very much, but I would serve people for my God. I won't eat and drink with anyone and make the relationship greasy. Because I only want my God, and it's good for me to have this one friend!
A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
I don't know how you felt when you met God? You may not have felt anything, but I was very moved because God helped me when I was poor and down!
The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, But who can bear a broken spirit? (Proverbs 18:14)
If there is no word of God in a person's heart, the heart is very shriveled and very sad. Our spirit needs the word of God! I have been arguing for one thing: Our best friend is the Lord Jesus. He makes my spirit joyful and my heart satisfied! Can everyone understand why I love God so much and why I serve God so much? Because this is really the smartest choice in a person's life. If a person can make Jesus their friend, what a good Mingding Destiny! My best friend is the Lord Jesus, but I am very surprised why there are so many Christians in the world, but there are really not many who truly love God. In fact, as long as we act according to the word of God, walk in His will, read the Bible and read out God's will, and act according to God's will, our spirit will be greatly satisfied!
Just like the song says: He is my joy, He is the source of my joy. We should not learn from the foolish people mentioned in this chapter, but only learn from the smart ones. There is a friend who is closer than a brother. There will still be grudges between brothers. But in the kingdom of God, the Lord Jesus is our brother, our king, our redeemer. He died in our place. I hope you can understand it. I wish you could make the same choice as me. The first day I met God, although I didn't understand anything and hadn't read the Bible much, I found comfort in the lyrics: He is a king, but He is willing to be my friend. He is willing to call me brother, and I think that's great! Even the kings of the earth, you don’t dare to be too familiar with them, but He is the King of Heaven!
Being One With God is Called Unity
A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment. (Proverbs 18:1)
In the church, are you in unity with your brothers and sisters? Of course, I am talking about true brothers, true sisters, and true Christians. Once everyone is united with the Lord Jesus, people will definitely be in unity with each other. Do you think that just because he is a pastor, I must treat him as a good friend? Forget it. In the New Testament Jesus Christ era, the Pharisees were all pastors. They were not friends, but a brood of vipers.
The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous run to it and are safe. (Proverbs 18:10)
The relationship between man and God is the most important relationship in life. If you have a good relationship with God, you will gain true wisdom, and you will be in unity with God. If you are in unity with God, you must also be in unity with God's people, and everyone will be in unity together, and there will be no problems. But if one is in unity with God and the other is not in unity with God, then no matter how you try, you will not be able to achieve unity.
So I discovered a rule: if our church is in unity with God and another church is also in unity with God, then the two churches will definitely be in unity when they come together. If I am not in unity with God, you are not in unity with God, and he is not in unity with God, what will we do when we unite in the end? I don't know. Some people call this kind of union: the ministry of the kingdom. I was thinking, if you make your own church a mess and not united, can you unite with my church and achieve unity? There is no such thing. What is unity? Unity means that we are all walking on the same road with God. If everyone is in unity with Jesus, there is no need to do anything to unite.
Everyone must know that if what I am preaching is preached to ordinary believers, they may still have a chance to listen. If you go and talk to some pastors, they may say: You have your way of doing things, and I have my way of doing things. God gives different gifts to different people. I can only shut my mouth. Why? Because they don't listen at all.
He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him. (Proverbs 18:13)
They have their own set of rules. A preacher walked into my office, and I asked him: What are you doing in Singapore? He said: Come to study theology. I said: If you come among us, I will give you my best things, do you want it? When he heard this, he said: Yes. I said: I will give you the Chinese Mingding Destiny logic system. If you build a church according to this logic system, you will definitely be able to build it. Because this system was learned from the Apostle Paul. The Apostle Paul built many churches that were very prosperous, unlike some people who built churches loosely.
The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous run to it and are safe. (Proverbs 18:10)
If you have a good relationship with God, you will definitely be safe. If we become good friends with Jesus Christ, we will serve according to Jesus' will, in order to comfort the heart of my best friend, the Lord Jesus! Some people may accept this, and some people may not. A brother got cancer, and the pastor of his original church said: Brother, I haven't seen you for a long time. What have you been busy with lately?
The brother said: I have cancer. The pastor said: Have you seen a doctor? Have you had a checkup? Have you had chemotherapy or radiation therapy? Do you want me to introduce you to a doctor? Other brothers and sisters in the church would also say: Brother, I will pray for you! But a month later, when the brother met them and asked: Did you really pray for me? They said: Alas! No time! What kind of crap is this? This brother used to participate in many fellowships, which is also considered making friends indiscriminately. The people in these fellowships also told this brother that they would pray for him, but they didn't.
This brother said to them: I am often with you, but when I got cancer and I felt helpless, only the Chinese Mingding Destiny teacher led me to pray, and I finally found my true love. Actually, this is not because of anything else, but because my relationship with the Lord Jesus is true love, so my service is all genuine service. I will not say that I will pray for you, and then write in WhatsApp: May the Lord heal you! Did you really pray in the end? Pure bullshit. If you are a genuine person, you will attract genuine people; if you are a person with true love, you will attract people with true love. Brothers and sisters will slowly understand.
Humility Precedes Honour
I have sought the Lord Jesus for many years, only to realize that I did not know before that the Lord Jesus is love. I truly lament not having met Him sooner! Brothers and sisters, now that we have encountered the Lord Jesus, will we treat Him with due seriousness? If you can be diligent, you will find that whether I spoke yesterday, today, or last week, there is little new. A believer who does not put the Lord Jesus first is under a curse!
The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. (Proverbs 18:10)
Spending time in the Lord Jesus Christ is absolutely worthwhile. Brothers and sisters, it is imperative for us to know:
Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honour. (Proverbs 18:12)
Honour is not the honour between people, but the honour God gives you. Humility is also humility in the eyes of God, certainly not humility in the eyes of people. Humility in God's eyes is: a person realizing their own inadequacy and then seeking God and trusting in God.
Someone once told me, those who say they are humble are not humble. Silly child, what nonsense are you talking about? Where did you get this truth from? It's not because I'm clever, but because he doesn't know what humility is. Why do I know? Because I diligently read the Word of God. Many people appear to be very humble, but feigned humility is not humility, it is useless. It is not that if you never say you are humble, then you are humble. Later I found that there are three people in the Bible who said they were humble, namely Moses, Jesus, and Paul:
Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth. (Numbers 12:3)
Jesus said: Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:29)
I, Paul, who am timid when face to face with you, but bold toward you when away! I beg you by the gentleness and meekness of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:1)
These people trusted in God to such an extent that they became righteous in God's eyes. They believed they were inadequate, but they trusted that God was absolutely capable. Thus, they became righteous and humble in God's eyes. Therefore, everything I speak is to encourage you to become good friends with God. If you are not yet good friends with God, then you really need to be careful.
The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, and the ears of the wise seek it out. (Proverbs 18:15)
Knowledge, discernment, and wisdom all belong to our Lord Jesus. The Lord Jesus is the wisdom of God. So, if you encounter the Lord Jesus but do not regard Jesus as knowledge, discernment, and wisdom, then you cannot hope to become wise. If you want to become wise, you must first be a humble person in God's eyes.
A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. (Proverbs 18:16)
What is the purpose of a gift? Is it for bribery? No. I tell you, when people come before God seeking discernment and wisdom, they cannot come empty-handed. What should they bring? They should offer their lives to God. Perhaps at the beginning, you are afraid to offer your life, so start with tithing on the eleven. Remember, tithing is merely the lowest possible starting point, but the most important thing is to dedicate your life to God.
I have summarized a rule from my experience: people should spend more time with those who are superior. I used to want to find a superior person, until I met the Lord Jesus and realized that the Lord Jesus is the most superior person. What is a superior person? It is someone whose height exceeds our imagination. We may not necessarily understand what a superior person says, but we must accept it. Even if what he says is too high, too deep, and too difficult, we must accept it unconditionally. A superior person lacks nothing, not money, not things, so he doesn't need anything from you. Standing so high, what does a superior person want from me? I am like a grain of dust, who can only receive from him and give nothing in return. How great it is to find God! My heart is comforted and satisfied, and I am willing to offer my life to Him.
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. (Psalm 59:16)
Because of God, I can enjoy peace. He is a superior person, can I not offer my life to Him? If I do not offer my life to Him, how foolish I am! He originally wanted nothing from me, but only wanted to give me life. Therefore, I advise many Christians, hoping they will offer their lives to God, but I am surprised that they are unwilling, and God is too lazy to pay attention to them. If one day God says to you, are you willing to die for me? Are you willing to offer your life to me? Never say, let me consider it. If you still need to consider it, God doesn't really need you.
Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life? Why do you ask me about what is good? Jesus replied. There is only One who is good. If you want to enter eternal life, keep the commandments. Which ones? he inquired. Jesus replied, You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself. All these I have kept, the young man said. What do I still lack? (Matthew 19:16-20)
Would the Lord Jesus answer him like this: That's great, you already have eternal life, you can rest assured and quietly wait for the arrival of eternal life? Of course not!
Jesus answered, If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me. When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. (Matthew 19:21-22)
In fact, whether to give money to the poor is not the key, the key is to give up all worldly possessions and then follow the Lord Jesus. But he had too much money at home. Jesus knew this clearly and still made such a request. It was really too difficult for him. Is the request too high? Do you think this request is high? Actually, it's not high. Because you have met a superior person, and a superior person is much better than an inferior person. You must listen to what a superior person says!
The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. The wealth of the rich is their fortified city; they imagine it a high wall. (Proverbs 18:10-11)
There are many problems that money cannot solve. Sometimes, having too much money can even bring disaster. Why treat it as a fortified city? Of course, sometimes having little money and many disasters is also life-threatening. For example, if you are as wealthy as Li Ka-shing and your son is kidnapped by bandits, you can use one billion to redeem your son. But if you only have a few million at home, can it satisfy the kidnappers' appetite? Then it's troublesome, they will tear up the ticket.
A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. (Proverbs 18:16)
If you can offer your life to God, finances are not a problem at all.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)
What are you saying? What kind of friends are you making? It all comes from your mouth. Brothers and sisters, it is imperative to know: If you want to be a Christian, be a resounding Christian, be a good brother and good friend of Jesus Christ. Friends know each other's hearts, know each other's preferences, and very close friends will call each other brothers. Brothers and sisters, do you know what kind of person Jesus Christ is? Jesus Christ is God, but He became flesh and came into this world, died for us, was buried, and rose again on the third day. He used resurrection to prove that He is God. He is wisdom, discernment, and everything to us. So what are you haggling over with God when you come before Him?
Conclusion: Make Good Friends with God
A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel. (Proverbs 18:19)
If brothers have grudges, you want to persuade them to reconcile, can you persuade them? You can't. I once watched a video where two brothers were fighting to the point of bloodshed, and both wives joined in, acting like enemies as soon as they met. Such things have happened in my family. My cousins act like enemies when they meet. What's the point of doing this? Be careful when dealing with people!
One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. (Proverbs 18:9)
Children should have knowledge, wisdom, and discernment from an early age. If they don't have these things, they will make bad friends. If people make bad friends, they will be miserable for the rest of their lives. Why do they make bad friends? Because birds of a feather flock together. You yourself are a bad person. I say this will sting people, but that's the way it is. People treat you as a bad friend when they associate with you; you also treat them as a bad friend when you associate with them, mutually harming each other. Therefore, you can see whether a person is wise through their relationships. I often advise some brothers and sisters not to associate with bad friends, but many people don't listen and even say they want to bless them. Can our blessings bless those who can be blessed? Brothers and sisters must know that we can't change anyone except ourselves.
Some people also think: I must become a blessing to my family. But do you know what a blessing is? Some church teachings believe that money is very important, and they feel that to bless someone, they must give him money. Do you call this a blessing? This is corruption! Therefore, everyone has a different definition of blessing. If the other person cannot accept God's definition of blessing, then we cannot bless him even if we want to. Therefore, everyone must make proper friends, not greasy friends.
Years ago, I met a businessman. He saw that I was a poor boy and thought I wanted to befriend him, so he came up and told me a sentence: A friend is composed of two moon characters, but when have you ever seen two moons together? So there are no friends on earth. Indeed, if you want to see two moons, one is the moon in the sky and the other is the reflection in the water. Why did he tell me this? Because he had money and I had nothing. He thought I wanted to befriend him. Actually, I felt that he was not worthy of me. He was so poor that he only had money left. At least I still had personality. So when people say this, can I not understand? Get out of here!
If you want something from people in your heart, then forget it. Brothers and sisters must know how many pastors want people to come to their churches just to get their offerings. What do we want? We want him to come among us so that we can bless him. Bless one if we can, bless two if we can. Because I don't want anything from you, so I dare to discipline you. If you come, I will not stop until I fix you into a blessed person. According to what I said: Kid, even if you put on wings, I will send you to the kingdom of heaven. Brothers and sisters now understand what it is like to come to our church.
A few days ago, I scolded someone I was serving. I scolded him because I wanted to tie wings on him and take him to a blessing. Because his curse was too deep, he got into lawsuits in his business and also got cancer. He had one cancer 6 years ago, and another one 6 years later. No pastor dared to fix him before. After I fixed him, he wanted to leave the church. Forget it, I can't tie him up even if I want to. You have your own other pair of wings, so you can fly. Fly as high as you can, swim as wide as you can, and fall when you run out of oil. Actually, he had cancer and was very weak. After praying with me for a month or so, his body had recovered a bit, but he still couldn't be fixed.
I said this is a curse, he said: No, unwarranted curses will never come upon him. Indeed, all curses have a reason. But I also thank God, isn't this saving my time? With his level, he probably didn't study well when he was in school. He read the Bible once in decades and wanted to argue with me using the words in the Bible, comparing his amateurism with my professionalism, wasn't that too far off? Reading the Bible is my profession! In this chapter, let’s not talk about the examples of foolish people, but wise people must bring themselves before God, and the relationship with the superior person, Lord Jesus, is closer than brothers and friends. Therefore, through interpersonal relationships and through people’s relationship with God, it can be seen whether people have wisdom. If there is no wisdom, that is their fate.
May God bless everyone!
Reflection Questions
Does God like people with secluded personalities? Do people like people who are promiscuous with friends? Why?
How do you know what kind of person someone is? How do wise people make friends?
What is the smartest choice a person can make in their life? What is the most important relationship?
What is true humility?