Introduction
Very pleased to meet everyone online again. After a long absence, I am truly moved to be able to share my thoughts with you all! You see, someone who has escaped from the valley of the shadow of death has a very different view of life. Last time, I spoke about Chapter 7 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Actually, I was already sick then, barely managing to get through it. Now, I will talk about Chapter 8, which is Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.
In the past few years, when I read this book, I thought Stephen Covey wrote it wonderfully. But as Chinese Mingding Destiny continues to advance, my view of what it means to be alive has changed. When I read this book again, I found that what he wrote had some problems, though I dare not criticize him. But I believe everyone wants to know how to read this book. He talks a lot about expression skills, introduces many concepts, but it's really not that many pages. I won't follow his book. I think in human interaction, you have to know what's on the other person's mind. Like I said last time, understanding others, listening to others, these things are not important. Your reaction this way, that way, these are just superficial things.
Let me give you an example. There is a son in his fifties and a mother in her nineties. The communication between this son and mother is not a problem of seeking first to understand. This son tries every possible way to extract money from his mother, as much as he can get. What is there to talk about? This son cannot communicate with his mother. But because this nonagenarian is being ministered to here, it's great! She has received a lot of grace during this time. What grace has she received? She recently took a photo, holding a mobile phone, with her legs crossed. What a cool pose!
When I first met this elderly woman, her legs were swollen beyond recognition. Don't even think about crossing her legs; not three legs, not four legs, nothing would work. The shoes she wore were four or five sizes larger than her actual foot size. Later, the swelling in her feet subsided. Wouldn't you say I'm doing a pretty good job ministering to her? I am really happy to see the blessings I have brought to the elderly woman. She is very sensible, and her spirit is becoming increasingly prosperous. But, her seeking first to understand with her son yields nothing. Because her son, who is almost sixty years old, has no place for his mother in his mind at all. All he thinks about is money. Why do I mention this? The outcome a person lives out is the result of what they think in their mind.
Some relationships between people can be built, and some cannot. No matter how valuable interpersonal relationships are, it doesn't mean that if I have a relationship with you, you will have a relationship with me. For example, in the past, everyone loved our great leader Chairman Mao, but it was impossible to build a relationship with him. I don't think he had the energy to build relationships with us ordinary soldiers. There were too many to count among a billion people. What I mean is, some relationships between people can be built, and some cannot. What kind of relationship can this elderly woman build with her son? To use an idiom, it can only be described as seeking cooperation from a tiger. There is no way to communicate, no method will work.
Seeing Through Others' Logical Systems
What I want to introduce to everyone is a new concept: when we interact with people, we need to know the way they think in their minds. If you are not spiritually mature enough, you will think that everyone in the world is like you. But if you are spiritually mature enough, when you look down, you will find that this person is very LOW, and that person is also very LOW. A few days ago, the grand uncle of one of our sisters transferred his house to his daughter. This sister wondered if her father should also transfer his house to her. She had some small thoughts in her mind about this. She came to me, and I said, How much is that worth? Let's make ourselves valuable. Would we still care about a house in a small county?
So what do we need to understand? Remember that some people, when they interact with you, are like beasts. You never know when they will bite you. You should stay away from these people and not interact with them! So, do you know what kind of work I am doing? I want to turn beasts into people. But beasts always want to bite. However, if you become a very noble person, you would rather offend a gentleman than offend a petty person, and you won't get bitten. Petty people bite! Some people say, Teacher Liu is with wild beasts! I have to stay away from wild beasts! They are big and strong, but they don't understand human nature. If you touch their core interests, they pounce and bite. Look at those big lions kept in the Middle East. I can't enjoy that kind of life. That's called the wealthy and the wild beasts!
The key is in seeking first to understand. It's not about building relationships with everyone. What are you trying to do by building a relationship with a wild beast? But what we are building is what is this person really thinking in their mind, what is the logical system inside? Aren't we talking about artificial intelligence? I'm telling you this is nothing new. Artificial intelligence is building a model into a machine. The machine has a way of thinking. For example, in playing Go, AlphaGo is very powerful. You can't beat it. So you see those Go commentaries online recently. They all say that the computer recommendation algorithm is like this, meaning there is a model inside it.
If the human brain wants to solve problems, the most important thing is what kind of model is in the brain. If that model is a very poor model, they will try every means to take advantage of you when you interact with them. Therefore, brothers and sisters, when you interact with people and build relationships, the relationship must be related to the model.
That's why I am very careful when I minister to some of our brothers and sisters because you still have bestial instincts. If you accidentally take a bite, how can I bear it? If this one bites me and that one bites me, I wouldn't be able to do this work if I didn't have some beast-taming skills. So what kind of work am I doing? I am changing the logical system inside people. Artificial intelligence builds a model; whatever model is built will produce certain results. So brothers and sisters, if you can live well, you owe me a favor because I have worked hard to remove the bestial instincts from you. Old Ma is a beast.
So how do you seek first to understand? When you interact with people, you see that their words reveal bestial instincts. You know this is a wild beast. You see what they look like, with two pointed ears and a body full of hair. That thing is called a lynx, and that's bestial instinct. Everyone has it. So the first thing in building a relationship with someone is to judge their internal logical system. What are you afraid of when you interact with me? I don't lack money, I'm not greedy, I don't want to get anything from you. I just want to give you something. Isn't it very safe for people to interact with me?
Some time ago, a brother got cancer, and I loved him very much. He is an English-speaking brother. I said, Come and be trained here. Do something when you want to do it, and don't do it when you don't want to do it, but try to make the most of your time. I gave him one of my good computers, and he was very happy. You might say, Give me a computer too! Take your time. I believe God will definitely give it to you.
Why have I become this kind of person? Because I have a set of logic inside me. Some people say, Give one to each person. Why don't you each give one to me! What I mean is that people cannot be ignorant. What is the most fatal saying for people? It is Who doesn't think this way? They think everyone in the world thinks the same way as them! They feel that a computer is very good. I feel that giving away a computer is very good!
I don't think anyone has ever pondered what kind of model is in their mind, or what kind of logical system is needed in their mind for a person to live well. We haven't studied it. So I don't talk about techniques. I talk about the core interests in a person's mind when interacting with them. It is really not easy to transform a person.
Recently, when teaching a child to learn English, I showed him a video of dog training, which talked about a Mexican who immigrated illegally to the United States. Later, he got an identification and became a dog trainer. In his dog training career, once a dog got into his hands, it was somehow trained and tamed. Why are dogs tamed? Because they feel safe with him.
Let me give you an example. The dog was very fierce. It went up and bit his arm, and blood kept flowing down. According to the general people must fight the dog with life? As a result, he stood there motionless. The dog continued to bite, and he looked at the dog without glaring at it fiercely. He showed a kind of pity for the dog. After a while, the dog realized that this person had no intention of harming it. The dog let go of its mouth and lay on the ground, very obedient.
It used to be a neurotic dog, but now it has become very stable. I think this is really amazing. When there is a wrong logical system in a person's mind, then they are fighting with heaven and fighting with earth, having endless fun. What are they fighting for? What can they fight for? I think people just have nothing to do in their lives, and then they fight back and forth.
But when people reach the final juncture, after passing through the valley of the shadow of death in recent days, they suddenly have a deeper understanding of what it means to be alive. I believe that those, no matter who they are, who once dominated the world, who were once very powerful, are comparable to the elite among men. As a result, before their death, people's words are kind when they are about to die. You will find that people used to fight for it when they were alive, biting this and that like mad dogs. Later, in many cases, it is really necessary to subvert it again. Everyone must know that what we are talking about is knowing the other and understanding ourselves, not solving technical problems. I would like to raise a question for everyone: How can we reshape the logical system within us? How can we understand the other party's logical system?
Reshaping Our Own Logical System
I will first talk about how to shape the logical system within ourselves. You lie in a coffin, and then you feel it. I tell you that many things will become meaningless. One day, we will face the arrival of that day, whether we like it or not, it is 100% certain. Don't wait until that time to say, Oh, what have I done in my life? This is a fundamental thing, so to shape the logical system within us, it must start from our understanding of the whole life of a person when they reach the final juncture.
Some people have walked around the valley of the shadow of death, and when they come back, they are still concerned about those trivial things. This logical system is difficult to destroy. I thank God that He gave me such wisdom when I was young, so that I know what it means to be alive. Even so, I still sometimes get confused while living, let alone those who have never understood life in the first place.
This matter needs to solve several problems. First, the model inside us must be correct. Second, when we interact with others, we must see what their core interests are. If they have a set of core interests, no one can touch them. Why don't you try touching them? You see these political struggles are very cruel, it's either you die or I live. What did they end up with? They live in this logical system. If they don't do it this way, how else can they do it? For example, Zhuge Liang's six expeditions to Qishan ended with his death in Wuzhangyuan. That was warmongering, and many people died because of his warmongering. What was he trying to do? I still haven't figured out what he was trying to do, but Zhuge Liang still became a great figure in Chinese history.
Another example: Chiang Kai-shek's encirclement and suppression of the Red Army was an extremely bloody battle. Later, thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river. You encircled and suppressed them like that back then, and later, a million-strong army crossed the Yangtze River and drove Chiang Kai-shek to Taiwan. You will find that you can't reason with him. What can you reason about? You can't. That is his core interest. So, people like us can't play this game. This game is very complicated. After I have said so much, we must return to a very fundamental thing in our minds. There are still many people who don't quite understand what it means to be alive.
Last night, I saw my co-worker serving there. The person being served was almost out of breath, so let's pray. Then I also prayed there, and then I heard that the sister was very heavy, a big fat person. Recently, big bones in the market are very cheap, so she bought a lot and cooked big bones every day, and then she ate herself into becoming big bone, and after eating, she couldn't breathe, so she asked our sister to serve her.
Then I thank God that it is also grace for us to serve people, but the problem is what is she thinking about all day long? She is thinking about the cheap big bones. Isn't this the old horse taking over? In fact, if money, reputation, status, and work become the main axis of a person's life, that is very dangerous. That thing is called beastliness. You say, what can she really do if she eats it? Nothing much. So, everyone must know that knowing the other and understanding ourselves should never stay at a very low level. Even if your expression skills are appropriate at a very low level, it is useless.
Becoming a Blessing to Others
Since we are talking about interpersonal relationships, we must know what kind of relationship this interpersonal relationship is. Knowing the other and understanding ourselves is not very useful. Establish a pastoral relationship, bring people out of the wrong logical system and into prosperity; bring people from a low level to a high level; bring people from a curse to a blessing; tear down people's wrong logical system and then rebuild it. I think this kind of interpersonal relationship is in accordance with God's heart.
If you become a blessing to this person, like the ninety-year-old woman I just mentioned, I blessed her. And her daughter is also among us, and I also blessed her daughter, and her granddaughter is also among us, and I also blessed her granddaughter. What would this kind of interpersonal relationship be like? This kind of interpersonal relationship would become a channel of blessing.
It turns out that many times, living in this world is actually meaningless. It is just that we turn this empty life into a meaningful life. What I have said so much is actually just this one thing: What is inside us? Can we use the energy of cooking big bones and eating big bones until we can't breathe to completely destroy the worldly logical system within us?
So, I think there is one thing that is particularly meaningful and valuable. It is not knowing the other and understanding ourselves. It is useless to understand it. Let's solve one problem, which is to tear down those things that make us live badly. If you can't tear it down, I will help you tear it down. If I can't tear it down, you will help me tear it down. If I really can't help you and you can't help me, God will create something that will force you to tear it down even if you don't want to. Therefore, establish a relationship that is in accordance with God's heart, and then know the other and understand ourselves.
Chinese Mingding Destiny is not talking about a skill, but about a fundamental problem. Once this fundamental thing is built well, it will be amazing. You say, Can this thing be eaten? His head is full of food, so doesn't he become a rice bucket? I can give you a guarantee that this can not only be eaten, but also be eaten well, because our Heavenly Father knows everything we need.
In fact, weren't all the things on this earth there before you were born? If you live long enough, live for three or five hundred years, you will see that God still supplies. He supplied two thousand years ago, one thousand years ago, and He still supplies today. The problem is that there is an eternal truth in this world, and this truth is blessing and curse. Either you live in blessing and you will never lack in your life, or you live in curse and you can't do anything right.
So everyone must know that if there is no God in this world, then let's play; if this world is created by God, and God has set a law of blessing and curse, then which one do you choose? Therefore, I encourage everyone to understand the other person's logic when interacting with people, just like me. When I see that this person's mind is full of this, I must be careful not to be bitten by him. Even if he really bites me, I must persist like a dog trainer and say, It doesn't matter if I bite a little more meat, I will grow it back in a few days.
Then you can become a blessing to many people. This is why when our Lord Jesus was lifted up on the cross, He attracted thousands of people to follow Him. Completely tear down the logical system within us. If we are willing to tear it down, I must congratulate you. People are like this. As they walk, they often think of lack. Why is this? Because the logical system inside is so deeply rooted for so many years. It not only solves the things inside us, but also solves the things inside the people we serve. The reward is extremely rich.
In fact, it is just talking about one thing: What is the model inside us like? If there is a wrong model inside us, some people are ignorant and live a more and more difficult life. Some people say, I want to be like this. I say, Then you will be like this in your life. Can I stop you? So you must know that what I am talking about is the foundation of building interpersonal relationships. Each of us wants to be a blessing to others, wants to give out, and hopes that God's blessing will be poured out on this whole earth. It is not that they are lazy, not that they want to rob other people's money, not that they are gluttonous and lazy, and specialize in living off their parents. If this world is full of people who give out, that kind of relationship would be great.
The most important thing is to know that God is definitely among us. This is a smart person. Everyone must be a smart person and know that the old horse's stuff is very stupid, very clumsy and very silly. I tell you, when a person is full of treasures inside, you have to start using open sesame to dig out the treasures inside you. That kind of relationship is not a superficial relationship, it will be amazing. I will share so much with you. Before I end, I have an expectation in my heart that everyone will become treasures in God's eyes, Amen!
May God bless everyone!