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【Course】- How to Learn (4) - "Dealing with Passivity Through Faith"

2021-09-03 6,122 Y136 Course - How to Learn Proactive Engagement Interview Learning Agility Passivity Deliberation Vexation

Introduction

Good day to all, we are here to share Chapter Three of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This chapter delves into the first of the seven habits, known as being proactive. The preceding two chapters provided a general overview of the seven habits, with a focus on inner-to-outer change. I am not merely reiterating what the book says about being proactive, but neither can I skip this chapter. Thus, in discussing proactivity, I wish to revisit the concept with everyone. The question is, how should we approach reading this book?

Have you noticed that by the time you reach Chapter Three, you are already reading at a quicker pace? People tend to read slowly because they often have the bad habit of reading word by word. How then can one read a book quickly? This requires us to cultivate good reading habits, and also to develop the habit of being a discerning reader. If one does not know how to read, one will invariably make a mess of it. And why does one not know how to read? Because one is too passive.

The first habit is being proactive, but this book does not tell us how to read proactively. I will now teach you how to read proactively. Chapter Three is about a dozen pages long. First, spend about three to five minutes skimming through the titles. After a general reading of the titles, go back to the content of the first title, which discusses the social mirror. We may not know what the social mirror is, but it seems to imply that society is a mirror, reflecting whether we are proactive or passive. This environment is quite good, as it discusses your response to the environment.

Then read the content of the second title, which discusses your response after being stimulated. If your response is a forced reaction, it is called passive. If the response is after your calculation, thinking, and choice, it is active. If others make you angry, you get angry; if others make you happy, you get happy; that is passive. Therefore, we must learn to read proactively, regardless of who wrote it. The result of proactive reading is very good because being proactive means reading while thinking. Passive reception means you read without knowing what you are reading.

Does this sound familiar to everyone? You think you understand just because you have read the words; you think that you can understand only after you finish reading without thinking during the process. But this is actually being passive. When I read, I think about what the social mirror is and what it reflects. Because this chapter is about being proactive, it reflects passivity and proactivity. What is passivity and proactivity? It is all about observing how a person reacts after being stimulated.

What kind of person is easy to deal with? You can predict their reaction. If you insult them, they immediately turn dark-faced. If you praise them, they immediately smile. If you read like I do, will you understand better? You will understand, at least asking yourself what you are reading. I am reading about being proactive! But have I been proactive? Not yet! Then can I be more proactive? Yes! I see quite a number of people reacting passively to things. I was doing renovations, fixing sewage and electricity, finishing it in no time, but people were just staring blankly.

I asked them what they saw? They said they saw nothing. I asked them what they were looking at? They did not know what to look at or what they should be looking at. They looked at a lot of things, but these things were not related to them. They did not know what people were doing, why they were doing it, or what problems they were trying to solve. They were just watching, unable to understand what they were seeing or hearing, as if the hearts of these people were covered with oil. What does it mean to have a heart covered with oil? It means having one's own set of ideas. What is one's own set of ideas? It is being passive.

If we are looking with questions, it will always be a proactive habit. What am I looking at? Looking at being proactive! What is being proactive about? The social mirror reflects whether I am proactive or passive. A reaction upon being stimulated is passive! When we play chess, we have to move when the opponent wants to capture our rook; we have to move when they want to capture our cannon; we have to watch out when they want to capture our knight. This is passive! What is being proactive? I go up and capture their rook, their cannon, their knight. This is taking the initiative. If you are always forced to respond, you will lose.

If you are passive in the first step, passive in the second step, and still passive in the third step, you will lose the game. Why are we passive? Because the environment forces us to be passive. The question then arises, I am now talking about the social mirror, and the choice between stimulus and response, stimulus and automatic response. The natural reaction of the flesh is called passive. Few of our natural reactions of the flesh are correct. Only when people are trained and become knowledgeable can they avoid being passive.

Without training, natural reactions are instantaneous, never calculated or thought through, often harming oneself. Therefore, the definition of being proactive is in the third subtitle, where there is a diagram showing stimulus and response. When a person is stimulated, they start calculating, choosing, and then consider how to react. After reacting, this is called being proactive. If others do not stimulate us, can we choose to stimulate others? This is even more proactive, more proactive than being proactive.

If we are talking about being proactive, being actively active, proactively proactive, what will happen? What I mean is, being proactive means I want to plan things well, I want to do things this way, not be forced to do them this way. You will find that children forced to study cannot learn well, people forced to work cannot do well, people forced to enter the Promised Land cannot enter, and being forced to leave Egypt is troublesome. Therefore, being proactive is our choice.

Then we look at the fourth subtitle, called Take the Initiative. Once we know what being proactive is, we start taking action, deciding that this is how I should do things. Passive people may still get into university. Today, many students are passively stuffed with a lot of things by teachers and eventually get into university. However, because much of the knowledge is force-fed by teachers, many things are ineffective. They can do well in exams, but their abilities are very poor, described as high scores but low abilities.

The next subtitle is “From Being Passive to Being Proactive,” listening to the language inside oneself, finding what is passive inside oneself, what is a proactive university? Then there are the circles of concern and circles of influence, which I am reading for the first time. The circle of concern is what we are concerned about, and within it, there is a small circle called the circle of influence. Later, we find that the circle of influence is getting bigger, while the circle of concern remains the same size. Some circles of influence are getting smaller because of passivity, proactively exerting your influence. By the fifth diagram, you will see that the circle of influence is very large, proving that you are a proactive person.

See, I have influenced you. When you came, you felt quite sad. After chatting with me, you became happy. Why did you become happy? Because my circle of influence is large, influencing you. If people become more and more depressed after talking with you, you also have influence, but that is negative influence! Start looking at your circle of influence today. I am not very clear about it, so I will mark it as a new concept.

I seem to know something about the previous ones, including direct control, indirect control, uncontrollable factors, and expanding the circle of influence. What am I teaching everyone? It is to read with a combination of guessing and wild assumptions, which may not sound good, but it is very practical. I can guess what he should be talking about, what he will be talking about. Then you will find that when our internal knowledge is very scarce, we read more slowly, and everything is new and unheard of. You do not even know where to guess or where to make wild assumptions.

Why do I read quickly? Because I know about the social mirror, I know about stimulus and response, and I know the definition of being proactive. Then, with a slight adjustment, I can read faster and know more. So, you will find that the more you know, the faster you read, and then you will find that many things are repetitive.

It is very hard to read for the first time, not knowing where to guess or where to make wild assumptions. But the words are recognizable, we know about taking the initiative, we know about changing from being passive to being proactive, and we know whether our internal language is passive or proactive. We know what we are concerned about, our influence on things, and what we can and cannot control. Then, we will talk about proactive practices. If it were up to me, proactive practices would actually be from the inside out.

Being Proactive is a Person's Active Choice

The two sides of a coin are actually the active choice of being proactive, so being proactive is a choice. Here, at the end, it also mentions a thirty-day trial. At this point, have we constructed a rough framework? We can probably construct one. We will find that the author is actually building a framework in the process of writing this book, with subtitles. This title writes a few stories, that title writes a few stories, this title I expound in this way, that title I expound in that way, here I put this kind of picture, there I put another different picture, that is how it is.

After following these steps, will I want to continue reading this book? I want to read it. Then, what do I understand and what do I not understand? We read quickly what we understand, and we read in detail what we do not understand. This way, reading becomes much easier. Do you all think that this method of reading while thinking with questions is helpful to you? When reading, we find that what people say and what I understand are not the same thing. What people say is this meaning, but my own understanding is actually a misunderstanding. I have to discard my own stuff and read in other people's stuff.

It is the same whether you are reading accounting, marketing, human resources, or other books. Once, I was reading human resources management with a sister, and that book had a thousand pages. But after I sorted it out, it became clear in an hour, and it was not so difficult to read after that. Next, should we read one word at a time, or how should we read it? Of course, the first paragraph must be read. Now, I actually have a concept in my mind. In fact, the author will say these things at the beginning, which is the way we react to things, whether it is a passive or active reaction. Being active is thinking and arranging through the mind.

Now, try to step out of your own frame, shift your consciousness to a corner of the material world, and then objectively examine yourself with your heart. Can you observe yourself from the perspective of an outsider? Think about your current mental state. Can you recognize your mindset? How are you going to describe it? Take another minute to think about how your mind works. Are you quick to respond? Are you confused about the purpose of this psychological experiment and want to sort out your thoughts? These are all unique human mental activities, while animals lack this ability of self-awareness, that is, the ability to think about their own thinking processes.

How I think is actually very interesting. Precisely because of this, humans can become the spirit of all things, achieving progress in continuous evolution from generation to generation. This is also why we can learn from our own and others' experiences, cultivate and improve habits. Cultivating and improving habits is not the first of the seven good habits? We are not based on our feelings, emotions, or even thoughts. It is precisely because we can think for ourselves that we can be different from things and animals.

With self-awareness, we can objectively review how we view ourselves, that is, our self-thinking. All correct and beneficial ideas must be based on this self-thinking, which affects our behavior, attitude, and how we view others. It can be said to be a personal map of human nature. There are many difficult words here, but it actually means that people can think and do not need so much nonsense.

In fact, if we cannot objectively consider the way we see ourselves, we cannot understand others or perceive their way and our own way. Therefore, we unintentionally impose our personal will on others, which we often do! In our hearts, we still feel that we are already very objective, which will greatly limit our personal potential and ability to interact with others. Fortunately, humans have self-awareness to review themselves. Is self-thinking based on reality and principles, or is it constrained by society and influenced by the environment? If we are ignorant, we will mess things up. People hate themselves, and others hate us.

Now we learn to think and learn that when people treat me, how I react, and how I treat people, what their reaction is. The reaction is very important. If I know that you react this way to such things and that way to such things, it will be easy to handle. There is a lot written here, but in short, everyone, do not think that this is something profound. In short, it is people need to change their perception of things.

The clearer your perception of things, the more you will react. For example, we can play chess, but our level is not up to par. If we play chess with someone who is at the ninth level, regardless of whether it is passive or active, you cannot be active, you must be passive. The ninth level person can easily make a few moves, and you will be stunned. How can you not be passive when you play against a master? Because they are good. If we become very good, people will be passive in front of us, and we will be active. We can manage the entire situation and environment, so people have to learn.

Before talking about society as a mirror, there is a lot of philosophical discussion. I do not like this kind of philosophical stuff. I like some down-to-earth words, because what I say are the words that ordinary people say. The word social mirror is too sophisticated. If it were me, I would say that society is a mirror that can reflect whether you are proactive. Then what is our reaction when people say something to us?

Some time ago, people said that I was a mangy dog. I said, Thank you for thinking so highly of me. I am just a pile of dog dung. My reaction was amazing. He thought I would be angry, but I was not angry. I said that you thought highly of me, I am not a dog. I said it would be good if I were a dog, because if I were a dog, I would not be dog dung. If I put this pile of dog dung on your head, what do you think he would do? He would really be uncomfortable. He wanted to make me angry and stimulate me.

Being passive is very powerful, and can ruin a person. I am a very powerful master. People originally wanted to stimulate me, but I can change from being passive to being active. If I react directly and say, Why are you scolding people? I immediately become passive. Was I not tricked? People say, Look, you are never on time. I reply, Yes, yes, yes. Then this punch hits cotton. You say, Why do you make things so messy? Then I quickly clean up, and everything is fine! Have you ever seen two wives or old women grab my hair, I grab your hair, you grab my neck, I grab your neck, fighting each other? I have seen it! Can this be good?

Some time ago, there was a sister whose grandfather was a soldier in the army, specializing in practicing grappling, an old man in his eighties. He wanted to teach me grappling. He said, If I grab your collar, you also grab my collar; if you grab my hair, I also grab your hair, can you tell the winner? It's meaningless! He said, As soon as someone grabs your collar, you just turn around, and snap! With a grab, you can press the opponent down, that's called grappling.

He told me a lot, but I did not understand it, because I have not learned these things. What are long-range attacks, close combat, close-fitting, that is about it, anyway I did not understand it. If we want to solve problems, being passive cannot solve problems. You need to be active, and being active needs knowledge. If you do not have knowledge, you can only react based on your natural physical reactions, which is the key.

Therefore, Christianity actually values education very much. The earliest education started with the Israelites. The Israelites started eliminating illiteracy 3,500 years ago, and everyone knew how to read. In China, after the liberation in 1949, we were still eliminating illiteracy. Many people do not know how to read and have never used a few words in their lives, let alone have knowledge. It is deadly for people to have no knowledge, it will kill you!

My mother said that she is actually not stupid. If she had been educated when she was a child, she would definitely have become a mayor. I said that she would at least become a governor. Look at the things we talk about. When we chat, we chat very well. Later, I added that this is not necessarily a good thing. Maybe she would end up in Qincheng Prison! What I mean is that people must have knowledge, because my mother did not go to school. When people asked her to be the branch secretary, it was difficult to write a document or anything else. But I have no problem writing these documents.

Therefore, when the social mirror shines, it shines out what this person is like. I found something very interesting. I met a person wearing jeans with a very good figure, and then wearing high heels clicking. As a result, when she opened her mouth, she said, My mother said that when I get married, she will buy me a double-door refrigerator. It was full of Northeastern dialect, which is laugh-able! This is lack of knowledge!

There is also a tall boy sitting there, poking his hand on his chin, and then taking a very handsome photo, which fascinates thousands of girls. He secretly made an appointment with a girl, and after making the appointment, they met. The first thing he said when they met for the first time was, I can tell you that my mother will not take care of the children for us when we get married. I ask you, is it upsetting to tell a girl this when you meet for the first time? That is all he thinks about.

When people go on blind dates, they can really encounter anything. Especially on online blind dates, someone asks the other person how much money they make, and then they answer how much money they make; then they ask what kind of car they drive, and then they answer that they drive a BMW; then they ask if they have a house? He said that he has a villa in the village and an apartment in the city, and then they ask if he has any dreams, and he says that what he just said are all his dreams. It turns out that this person has nothing!

The state that people react to when they live in society, for example, with the accent of Northeastern dialect, they are full of the fragrance of Northeastern dialect, which is that they have a hot body, but their minds are full of diarrhea and have no knowledge. Because of the lack of knowledge, people's reactions to things are all these things, stimulate them and then look at some responses, and you will probably know what this person will be like. Once, I was recruiting, and a Ph.D. came to interview, and I thought it was good. Do not forget that you are interviewing during the interview, and there are many ways to interview. He came in, and I said, Please sit down. I spoke to him in English. He is a Chinese, and when I spoke to him in English, I found that he had been in Singapore for so long, but he spoke English very poorly.

You need to know that I used a lot of words that are not very high-end words. I also know this, but I think these words are well-invented. I will teach you some words, because these words are used to test these people's reactions. For example, Shuidangniaoku, Kengchibiedu, Waigualiezao, Ciyaliezui are all these. You say, Can there be some good words? Good words do not reveal the demons, you know? We Northeastern people have invented a lot of very good words, and you cannot find these words I am talking about in the Northeastern sketches. Why? The words I am talking about are easy to use and can stimulate people. For example, I said to this person, Do not be Kengchibiedu! This is very powerful. The Northeastern dialect is still very stimulating.

Today, as we talk about being proactive, let me add a few words. How did this Northeastern dialect come about? Why are Northeasterners so articulate? The winters in the Northeast are cold. Who would go out in weather that’s twenty or thirty degrees below zero? We’re all indoors. My younger brother brings a big bag of sunflower seeds, slams it on the table. A huge tea mug, with a thick layer of tea stains, you could almost call it a teapot. He’d make a big mug of tea, pour a few cups into those small teacups that look like they’re for white wine, and then, crack, crack, crack, eat sunflower seeds. In the Northeast, this is called gabbing. Oh! Then they start talking non-stop. After practicing like this all winter, your lips definitely go from mumbling to being eloquent. Your speaking skills become excellent. So, sometimes when people see my family talking together, they feel like they’re listening to a skit of some sort, quite interesting.

We're now talking about society being like a mirror, so when you’re living in this world, and people provoke you, what’s your reaction? We were talking about this PhD interviewee. I said to this PhD: You’ve studied for so many years, why is your English so garbled? If all Chinese people were like you, would China still have hope? I said many Chinese people are like you. As a result, he immediately stood up and slammed the table hard, saying: You can insult me, but you cannot insult us Chinese! I said: I am also Chinese. Oh my, his reaction made me laugh so hard. My subordinates who were interviewing with me, and the HR managers, were all doubled over with laughter.

Why did I do this? I wanted to see his reaction, whether his emotional intelligence was high. If his emotional intelligence is not high, then there's no need to test his intelligence quotient. I said: Our interview is over. I said young man, please sit down for a moment, and I will explain to you why the interview is over. I said I was just testing you, why did you slam the table? If we hire you, and you slam the table with me every day, I will also slam the table with you; you grab my hair, I will also grab your hair; you grab my collar, I will also grab your collar. Am I hiring someone to engage in a battle of wits with me? Isn't that just asking for trouble? So, the interview is over.

We continue to talk about the reaction between stimulus and response, which is a timeless theme clearly discussed in the 《Bible》. In the midst of stimulus and response, if the reaction to the stimulus is natural, an ignorant state of response, without thought, this reaction is a carnal reaction. A natural carnal reaction, it would be good if it doesn't corrupt people, almost nothing is right. In other words, the process of people learning today is to resolve our freedom of choice. If what I’m saying were spoken in English, then it would be Northeastern English. That would be even more interesting, there’s no way to translate the garbled speech. I think there are many kinds of things inside people's heads, if you summarize them, it's a learning ability, a thinking ability, and the ability to control emotions.

The ability to control emotions is closely related to our understanding of things, and our mastery of knowledge. For example: If I have taken advantage of someone, why should I lose my temper? If I suffer a loss after losing my temper, why should I lose my temper? Everyone should ponder this slowly. No matter what kind of situation a person is in, the freedom of choice is in your hands. The 《Bible》 constantly reveals a truth, which is that the environment cannot control your destiny, but the choices within you can control your destiny.

Emotions are closely related to our ignorance. Why do we react so ignorantly, so emotionally? It is because we do not know how to react. This is a natural reaction, an emotional reaction. So, a natural reaction is a passive reaction. With knowledge, we know how to respond. It's like playing chess. If you know how to play chess, what are you getting excited about? When I was in college, we had a young man in our dormitory who came from a very remote border area. When we played chess, he would say: Quickly charge the little tart! Oh my! It amused all of us. We all called it pawn, he called it tart, he said they all called it little tart in his area. Charging the little tart sounds like a character from 《Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio》like things, charging the little tart sounds so scary.

I think people's understanding of things is varied and strange. So some people are born with good emotions, and some people are born with bad emotions, but after learning, they will all become the same. If we talk about little tart again, then it's troublesome. If people always charge the little tart, and your emotions always come up, that's very troublesome. So to solve the problem, we still need to solve the problem of being proactive, and we still need to solve the problem of ignorance. So the definition of being proactive comes.

The author of this book talks about self-awareness, independent will. Who knows what self-awareness and independent will are? If you have it, you have it, if you don't, then forget it. He's talking about philosophical terms, what does it mean? Freedom of choice is my inner understanding of things. Our inner reaction to things depends on whether it is a very rational reaction. The more knowledgeable a person is, the more clear they are about the internal examination of things, the internal operating rules of things, the rules of people, and the understanding of people, the more your reaction will definitely move in a direction that is beneficial to you. Do you need someone to persuade you to do things that are beneficial to you? You don't. Playing chess this way will win, playing chess that way will lose, you don't need someone to tell you, you will play to win. But, if you say no! I just want to lose, then no one can stop you.

So everyone must know: Nothing can hurt you, only your own choice to be hurt will become the hurt. I am against many things, such as: being against family of origin, being against being hurt from childhood, being against ancestral curses, in fact, nothing can replace your own choice, I choose not to be hurt. If someone sells you to Egypt, it's pretty good to be sold to Egypt now, you can go on a tour.

If Joseph in the 《Bible》was sold into slavery in Egypt, what should he do? At this time, his inner knowledge tells him that God predestined him to Egypt in advance, what did God predestine him to Egypt to do? This is his understanding: to be the savior of my family, God is saving. Then is he working hard? He is working hard. Why is it hard? Because when he thinks of the real environment, he thinks of how his brothers treated him and he is in pain. When he thinks of this as God's plan, he is happy, and then he endures day by day.

Joseph is amazing, definitely a master. So the choice is up to us, Joseph cannot be corrupted. No person, no thing can corrupt you, only your own choice will corrupt you. So our reaction must not be a reaction immediately after being stimulated. We often say these things, and the author also tells some stories in this book. He said that when he was speaking for less than half an hour, someone began to fidget. The author is a very powerful person, he did not say: Sit down for me! People don't do that, that would be troublesome, that's called passive.

He said: Can you share your experience? So that everyone can receive it. That person said: You absolutely can't imagine my experience! I am a nurse, and I have taken care of a patient who can be regarded as the most picky and difficult to serve in the world. Whatever I did, he didn't think it was good enough. Not only did he never say a word of thanks, but he also nitpicked and opposed me everywhere. As a result, I was in great pain every day, and then I couldn't help but vent my pain on my family. Other nurses felt the same way. We just hoped he would die sooner. But just now you were on stage talking about being proactive, and saying that unless I am willing, nothing can hurt me, and that my pain is all brought on by myself! I really can't accept this.

Then she said: But later, I thought about these words again and again, and asked myself from the bottom of my heart: Do I really have the ability to choose my response? As a result, I actually found that I did have this ability. After I swallowed this bitter medicine whole, and admitted that I had chosen the pain, I gradually realized that I could choose not to be in pain. So at that moment I stood up and felt like a reborn prisoner, with a desire to shout to the world. Then she said: I am free! I am out of the cage! No longer subject to how others treat me. How many of us are controlled today? Too many. When a child plays a game, you freak out, and you are very passive.

Dealing with Passivity Through Faith

Everyone, starting from now, take the initiative and do something meaningful. Everyone can read about taking the initiative, the essence of human nature is active. Human beings can not only choose a response to a specific environment, but also take the initiative to create a favorable environment, but this is not equal to being bold and reckless, not equal to causing trouble and provoking trouble. But it allows people to fully realize that they have a responsibility to create conditions. Today, there are a lot of people who blame the environment, I don't have this condition, I don't have that condition. So today, everyone, get out of this attitude of shirking responsibility, we start to say: I can choose. I tell you: Your choice determines your destiny! Your habits determine your destiny!

Next, he talked a lot about turning passivity into proactivity. Have you noticed that many good things are also bad things, and bad things are also good things. Good things and bad things are all relative. There are good things behind this bad thing, and all crises contain opportunities. So today we start to think about what are the passive things in us. How do we know what are the passive things in us? Look at how we react today.

You may listen to what I said, and listen to it in a garbled, wet and sloppy way, why? Because you have your own set of things inside. Everyone should start to make a smart reaction, we start to find it from our language. In my ministry, the most common thing I hear is: I am like this originally. In fact, what you are like originally is not important. What is important? What is important is what we want to be like.

I was born in the countryside, poor and with nothing, so poor that I was penniless, I didn't wear open crotch pants originally, but I could only wear open crotch pants. Why? Because the crotch tore open as I wore them. So we were so poor that it was too difficult, this life is over! Is this life really over? It's not over. But can this kind of environment shape a strong character, to train oneself in this difficult environment? Yes! But with a little effort, you will be defeated. When we are defeated, we start to blame the environment again, so we keep circulating in this environment. Either blame, or want to do something, and then be defeated again.

After you listen to what I said, pack up your faith, and rush up again tomorrow, and hit a brick wall again. So this life is troublesome, because you can't afford a little price. Our active heart can only last for a little while. So I think we need to sort out the things in us. For example: I don't have time. Oh my! Who doesn't do that? Oh my! I have always done things this way! Oh my! This thing is really, he did this thing and it really made me angry, etc., a lot of such words.

What is proactive language? Proactive language is another set. Proactive language: What should I do about this? I should be able to find a way, I think carefully, I think hard, I draw it today, I draw it tomorrow, and then I draw it again. I have solved so many problems in my life, because I always think about them. I think about them today, I think about them tomorrow, some problems I think about for a month, some problems I think about for half a year, some problems I think about for a year. The problems that I solved can't be solved with a breath today, and realized tomorrow. Because if you blow a breath today, you can't even sprout a bean sprout.

So we have to start learning to shape, wow! Such a difficult environment shapes character. For example: My colleagues, when they saw the boss give me the most challenging task, they all laughed and smiled very cutely. Sitting together in the cafeteria for dinner, they looked at me and smiled like this: Hey! You've been targeted by the boss again. I said: That's how people live, what can I do? There's nothing I can do. But one challenge after another, has been completely solved by me, and then people are convinced. So when I do things, I think carefully, because I came up from the grassroots.

I often say: I can do it, I should be able to do it. For example: The things I do are wet and sloppy, and garbled, I hold it in for a day, and my face turns red from holding it in. Have you noticed that I have such times? You may not notice it. But people close to me will notice that I come out of the office for a while, walk back and forth, with a vicissitudes of expression on my face. I was like this when I wrote the 101 Course, and I was like this when I wrote the 201 Course, after a few months, I was almost possessed. Do you know what it means to be possessed? It's like I'm about to freak out.

One day I rushed out, and I figured it out! Today's 101 Course and 201 Course are my original works, which were created after several months of very devastating, very uncomfortable, very difficult, and very garbled days. That's my original work, no one has ever written it like this, I wrote it myself. I thank God, God is really a God who cares for people with faith!

I take the initiative in everything I do. Once I was promoted and I was so happy. But after being promoted, troublesome things came. You need to know that everyone has to do performance evaluations, mid year summaries, year end summaries, and also make arrangements and plans for them, and then assign work, a series of things, I am so annoyed. If someone takes a leave, I have to approve it, if someone does a project, I have to approve it, I am busy every day. How can I do these things? I'm so annoyed. I just like to do technical things, it won't work if it goes on like this. But I'm not young anymore, and I can't be managed by people in the company, I have to manage some people, it sounds reasonable.

In fact, managing people is very boring and tedious. As a result, when I got up in the morning, I told myself that I wanted to like doing this, I wanted to like doing that, I already started to like it, I liked doing these things very much. I took some books from the library, such as: How to Be a Manager, How to Be a Leader, etc., and read them one by one, and after reading them, I understood it. It was really like that. You have to know how to do this, and as a result, I did better and better, and my position climbed up a notch. Not only did the position climb up, but the salary also increased. Later, the salary increased very high, isn't this very good?

Today, no matter what we do, whether we like it or not, learn I like it. Serving God is not easy, but liking to serve God is a choice. Once I met a pastor on a plane, he happened to be sitting next to me, I said: Why is it you? He said: Oh, why is it you? I asked: What are you going to do now? Are you going to preach? He said: No. I finally put down the difficult job of being a pastor. Oh my! Our Father in heaven, may you have mercy on this brother.

How could he say such a thing? I will do things well in everything I do, this is my choice. I choose to be an excellent person, choose to be a high performing person, choose to be a highly efficient person, choose to be a person with good habits. So our influence is constantly expanding, manage well what we can control, and if we can't control it, then forget it. We can't control what happens, for example: the United States can't control the affairs of Afghanistan, what are you controlling? That's right. Can you control world peace? Let's forget it, we can't control the affairs of world peace.

What I mean is: We divide the things that we can manage, that we should manage, into three categories, things that can be controlled, things that can be indirectly controlled, and then we do what we should do. For things that we cannot control, God, grant me a peaceful heart to accept what cannot be changed. This problem suddenly becomes simple, so being proactive is just a choice.

Today, after you read this chapter, you will find that it doesn't seem so difficult. Is being proactive that difficult? It's not that difficult. In fact, I tell everyone, if you expect others to make changes so that we can be happy, I think you should give up. Because if others don't change, you will be very painful, if others change, you will be very happy, in fact, even if others change, you may not be happy, why? Because if people change, you don't know that they have changed, and you are still there waiting for it.

Summary

So let's not put our hope in the changes of others, let's put the change in our own change. If we change ourselves, and we develop good habits, and we have knowledge, and we don't blame or criticize, isn't this a good habit? I didn't talk about the third chapter of this book, I talked about my own third chapter, but I think it was pretty good. After saying a thousand words and ten thousand words, I think I have a strength, my strength is: I can explain a complex thing in simple words. Being proactive has been explained clearly, and then how to become a proactive person, this matter still has to be entrusted to everyone, take some responsibility for yourself, and ask everyone to take some responsibility for their own happiness and for their own future.

You say: I can't do it. How should everyone answer when they encounter this? I tell everyone: Have faith. I can't do it, but my God will definitely enable me to do it, it's because I can't do it that I trust in God, because I trust in God, so I move forward little by little, my God will definitely help me, so it's difficult for you not to see God's grace.

God will definitely become the strength in your heart, so faith is amazing. At the end, what I want to do is to release faith. If I can share faith with you, you can definitely do it, because you and I are people who have God, and you will immediately have strength inside. Start to deal with your own passive bad habits, and then it's difficult for people not to grow. Our sharing will end here, may God bless everyone!

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