Habits Shape Destiny

Good day to all! I am very pleased to be here once again for our weekly Seven Habits lecture. We will continue from where we left off last week. Let us first reflect on what we have been doing in these many sessions. We should often ask ourselves, what am I doing? This is a rather philosophical question. If we consistently engage in activities that foster growth, it is impossible not to experience joy. Do you know what we are doing? You might say, We are building good habits. Not quite! Someone has rightly answered, it is to improve our lives. If we are living a shriveled existence, constantly in pain, and our faces resemble bitter gourds, how miserable would that be! I tell you, living a better life is a perennial theme of human inquiry.

Regarding the matter of living, I would like to share my views with all of you, as I have indeed studied the subject quite thoroughly. You might say I am exaggerating, but it is not quite so. In fact, calling it exaggeration is a humble understatement. To live, one must possess the knowledge of living. Please continue to listen. How can one live a better life? Living well is related to your growth. How can one live well without growth?

Habits are formidable. We have discussed so many habits to make you understand that habits shape destiny. Let me give you an example. My brother and I have had vastly different destinies. I loved to study from a young age, cultivating good habits, and as a result, I have lived a decent life. My brother, on the other hand, enjoyed loafing around, never engaging in anything productive, and consequently, he achieved nothing in life. One's habits determine one's destiny, and eliminating bad habits is key to living well.

One of my nephews feels discomfort whenever he studies. He says, Uncle, I feel discomfort whenever I study. Everything hurts except my hair. I said, You feel discomfort studying, and you feel discomfort not studying. If you study, you discomfort yourself; if you do not study, others will discomfort you. Is he not in a predicament? Will his life not become a life of predicament? If you are so uncomfortable, how can you live this life? And yet, you expect others to respect you.

A sister married a husband who does not earn money and stays at home all day, yet expects her to respect him. Is that not a predicament? He knows that no one looks up to him, and yet he occasionally demands respect. How twisted must his heart be! Without the good habits of learning and growth, he is certain to be uncomfortable. How can such a person live well? For instance, some people feel great joy when playing video games, but feel discomfort afterward. As for me, I feel extreme discomfort whenever I play video games, mahjong, or cards. To this day, I still do not understand what one can gain from playing video games, mahjong, or cards. But I see others enjoying it, and sometimes I doubt whether I am even from this planet. Therefore, habits determine whether one feels discomfort or not.

How could someone like me feel discomfort? I excelled in my studies, and to this day, I continue to learn incessantly. Let us put it this way: among all the Chinese who have gone abroad, there are not many who speak English to the level that I do. Why? Because I studied desperately. If I could not speak well, yet had to use it at work, would I not feel discomfort? Others' salaries rise sharply, while mine falls sharply, and I might even be fired one day. Would that not lead to a lifetime of discomfort? Work involves labor and interacting with people. Some people feel discomfort when they labor and interact with people, and they feel discomfort when they do not labor and interact with people. Is that not a lifetime of discomfort?

Without the good habit of working, one often engages in arguments. You should know that I spend most of my time doing things, except when I am sleeping. If you have not interacted with me, you will find that I seem to have endless energy because I am passionate about what I do, and I have good habits. Some people argue about implementing 007 or 996 work schedules, claiming that life needs balance. If you carefully observe my life, you will see how fulfilling it is! Because I have filled it to the brim. I do not even know what 007 or 996 means; I only know that I must grow.

Some people play mahjong all night long, and they do not speak of 007 or 996. This is simply a matter of one's habits. Whatever habits you cultivate, that is the destiny you will live out. Because I have many good habits, I live a very fulfilling life! Do not be surprised when you see someone living such a strenuous life. In fact, they are enjoying it; you just do not know it. I tell you, growth is crucial.

Joy Comes from Growth

I have just given an introduction. Now, I will begin to share my version of the Seven Habits – Continuous Growth – because I cannot simply lecture on what is in the book. I believe that Continuous Growth is better than Continuous Updates. Where does Continuous Growth come from? It comes from my research on how people can live a good life. I started researching how people should live when I was just a teenager. You might find that strange. A teenager thinking about such things, full of contemplation about life.

What would become of him when he grows up? He would become extraordinary! Although some people go to Tsinghua or Peking University and then research life, ultimately becoming monks, I did not become a monk; I entered the world. After researching how people can live well, I discovered that growth is the key. Why? Because every time I grow, I feel immense joy.

I remember when I was in junior high school, there was a plane geometry problem I could not solve no matter what I did. I idly picked it up, drew an auxiliary line one way, drew an auxiliary line another way, and finally, after two months, I figured it out! That day, I was overjoyed! You might ask me what I was so happy about? I was happy that I had solved a geometry problem. Later, I discovered that the joy of growth far surpasses that of eating a New Year's Eve dinner.

You should know that in those days, we were very poor. Every family looked forward to eating New Year's Eve dinner, because we only ate cabbage and potatoes all year round, and only had a feast during the New Year. But I discovered that the joy of growth is far stronger than that of eating a feast. You might ask me why? I am not quite sure. Later, in the course of serving people, I grasped a principle: when they grow, they become happy.

Today, I want to share with you the topic of Continuous Growth. I tell many stories because I have served many people. Among the people I have served, I have found that there are many losers. For example, they love to read novels, do not study, do not like to attend classes, and just shoot the breeze, and then they feel discomfort. After feeling discomfort, they come to the church to find me. After serving these people, I have concluded that there is only one way to make them live well: to push them onto the path of continuous growth.

Now you know where my research on how people should live comes from, right? Over the years, I have accumulated a wealth of service cases. Today, you ask me why the things I say are so practical, because the things I do are practical. Why is it that some people cannot articulate what they want to say? Because they have never done it; how could they possibly articulate it?

If you ask me how to write software, I will be able to explain it to you clearly. Although I may not be good at writing code, I can explain the software project to you clearly. If you let me talk about networking, I can also explain it clearly. If you let me talk about home decoration, I can also explain it clearly, because I constantly ponder these things!

I am constantly learning and growing because I myself am a person who is constantly growing. It is not that growth leads to discomfort, but that growth leads to joy! This is not something that you can experience by going on a trip with a bag and feeling good afterward. I do not enjoy that sort of thing. I only enjoy one thing: growth! You can slowly ponder this yourself.

One of our sisters just sent an emoticon. Originally, this sister was not good at studying either. I served her and know her situation. Later, she started working, and after starting work, she began to learn to draw, and she grew. The boss also praised her, and she felt good about herself. This is the joy that growth brings.

Growth is Always Gradual

What I just said was just an introduction. Next, we will talk about how to grow. How to grow is the key. Have you noticed that the things I talk about are always about what to do and how to do it? I will explain it clearly and practically. For example, if a child ate a meal yesterday, and then his mother said, Why haven't you grown taller yet? you would know that this mother is a bit odd. Can eating a meal yesterday make you grow taller today? If you grew taller every day, how tall would you become? So, you would know that if you ate a meal yesterday, you would grow taller today, is impossible. Some people say, You can't tell with children. In other words, growth is gradual, and it grows bit by bit. All living things are like this.

Do you understand? I have a friend who is an expert in raising crabs and shrimp. He took me to his crab pond and explained to me how the crabs grow. Do you know how crabs and shrimp grow? It grows to a certain size after shedding its shell several times. If you see a very large crab, this crab must have gone through many trials and tribulations because every time it sheds its shell is its most vulnerable period, called a soft-shell crab. But I think molting is very interesting: the crab grows secretly inside. When it grows inside, the shell is hard, and the shell does not grow. As a result, when the meat inside grows, the shell cannot hold it, so it has to shed the shell.

I tell you, the things our God creates are amazing! I do not understand how the crab's legs are pulled out from the inside. How can the legs of such a fat shrimp be pulled out from such a thin shell? The molting of cicadas and the molting of crabs are both called molting. You must know that people also need to grow often. Although you cannot see growth, when the things inside a person brew to a certain degree, his outside will undergo a molting.

Today, you know the work I do. The work we do is to make changes happen inside you. Once you accept what I have said and continue to grow, I tell you, you will become a remarkable person in your life, and you will definitely become a happy person.

There is a sister who is a teacher. She was very excited when her twenty-eight-day vacation was approaching. When she saw me, she said, Teacher, my twenty-eight-day vacation is coming soon. I said, So what? She said, I will make a big breakthrough in my English during this twenty-eight-day vacation. Does that sound good? But I said, What were you doing last vacation?

Because at the beginning of the last vacation, she also said, I have a twenty-eight-day vacation, and I want to make a breakthrough in this matter. So I poured cold water on her. I said, Forget it, forget it. You have said this slogan I don't know how many times. Do you understand? Many people are like this. They are just waiting for a large chunk of time to grow. Do you have such people?

During this period of waiting for such a large chunk of time, I don't know how it will pass. She does not know that growth is something that takes place in the cracks, not like what she is doing. Whenever someone expects to have a twenty-eight-day vacation and do something, usually these twenty-eight days will pass without knowing how. Many people set goals and then fail, and then set another goal and then fail again. Why? Expectations are too high!

What do you think you can do in twenty-eight days? You can't do anything in twenty-eight days. I never do that. If I want to do something, I will make it a habit. It is not twenty-eight days, but I am living in this habit every day. In other words, don't engage in campaigns. Once people engage in campaigns, waiting for these twenty-eight or forty-eight days, it is bound to be over because she does not have a good habit. Good habits are daily.

If you look at my bedside, there is always a stack of books. In the past, when my classmates went to study for an MBA, I went to buy all the textbooks for the MBA courses at the university and put them on my bedside. After he finished his MBA, he smashed 200,000 SGD, why? Apart from tuition fees, he also lost his job, which added up to about 200,000 SGD. As for me, I read it at my bedside, and I did not spend a penny, only a few hundred dollars to buy those books.

But I read it every day. I did not take a year and a half to stop my work and go to someone else's school to study specifically. But after I finished studying, I learned it more thoroughly than he did. Why? Because I am self-taught.

You have to understand that there is a very important bad habit that you have to overcome. Many people look down on what they can do, and they cannot do what they can see, which is definitely a very bad habit. If people do not accept their current situation, how can you grow? You are at this level, and you still look down on everything you do. Why don't you accept that you are not good enough?

Accept Yourself and Establish the Concept of Growth

It is very important for people to accept themselves. I have accepted myself since I was a child because I know what level I am at. And then I accept it, and then I continue to learn and grow in my current situation. People do what they are capable of doing. Some people just don't have that level, and they always look down on what they do. If they look down on themselves, they will not grow, and several decades will pass in an instant, and they will be uncomfortable for several decades.

I ask you, is it better for happy people to do things or unhappy people to do things? If you do not accept yourself, you always see yourself as ugly. So you go for plastic surgery and make a plastic face. What are you doing? I am very willing to accept myself. I look good too. It is not because I look good, but because I accept myself. Do you understand?

It is important for people to accept themselves. People's views on themselves often have deviations and need to be greatly adjusted. When I first became a pastor, I did not know how to preach. I had not received any training. I was self-taught. Self-taught is not a talent. To become a talent, you have to be trained. Today, you may think that I am lecturing very well, but what you do not know is that at the beginning, I lectured really badly.

But I recorded my own lectures. If you are interested, you can go to the website and listen to the sermon I gave in 2011. It is very young and still has the taste of youth and shyness. But I have a habit. After I finish lecturing, I listen to it several times. Are you convinced? I like to listen to myself lecturing. When I am sick, I play my own prayer recordings to listen to.

You said that you are talking about your illness again. What kind of person are you? How can you play your own prayer recordings? Can't I accept myself? I also accept myself on the whirlwind. Then I gave myself a suggestion. There is too much nonsense. Pray in tongues soon! I am so uncomfortable, why don't you pray in tongues soon! Do you all feel the same way? You do! Then I will record a pure tongues prayer specifically. If you have any questions, follow the prayer.

To this day, I still have a lot of nonsense. I accept myself. After listening to what I said, I will improve it. After listening to it, I will improve it. This is me! A pastor said to me, My members don't like to listen to my sermons. Then I asked him, Have you ever listened to your own sermons? As a result, he gave me an English sentence: I hate to listen to my own sermons! He gave me this sentence. What does it mean? It means that I hate to listen to my own sermons.

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I find it puzzling. You cook a table full of dishes, and then, finding them unpalatable yourself, you offer them to others? You deliver a sermon that even you find repugnant, and yet you expect others to listen? How can that possibly lead to positive outcomes? It cannot. A decade slips by, with those precious years squandered in self-rejection, dissolving in muddy, turbid waters.

Do you accept yourself? **If you do not accept yourself, growth is exceedingly difficult**, as you are perpetually consumed by self-loathing. If you deem your paintings inadequate, you will despise your own art. If your writings fall short of your expectations, you will abhor your own compositions. If your sermons are uninspiring to you, you will detest your own preaching. Is this not rendering oneself useless? Everyone must embrace self-acceptance!

I accept myself to an almost absurd degree, yet I maintain an objective assessment of myself. After listening, I make improvements, continuously refining. Does my style remind you of a storyteller, like Shan Tianfang? My imitation of Zhuge Liang's debate with the Confucian scholars in Romance of the Three Kingdoms is remarkably accurate. How did I achieve this? Through self-acceptance.

It is normal to have opinions about oneself, and it is understandable to be self-critical. However, **given your current level, you must strive for improvement; growth is the key**, that is my conviction. Take painting, for instance. A painter friend once shared his teaching method: I forbid my students from crumpling up their paper halfway through a drawing. Some students, frustrated with their work, repeatedly crumple and discard their paper, becoming crumpling-paper artists for life.

The painter concluded that such individuals never achieve success. Thus, he prohibits his students from crumpling their paper. Once, a student accidentally splattered ink onto their drawing. I wondered what would happen next. As I watched, the teacher transformed the inkblot into a rock, adding small flowers and grass around it, instantly transforming the artwork. It was truly remarkable!

We must constantly adjust ourselves, addressing what we dislike without resorting to self-deception, like an ostrich burying its head in the sand, feigning ignorance. That is unacceptable! One of our co-workers, in her sixties, recently sent me a painting of flowers she had created. Having studied painting for less than six months, the artwork was exceptionally well done. It made me feel that my efforts had not been in vain!

I invested significant effort in training her to learn, guiding her on the path of growth after years of misguided attempts. Self-acceptance is crucial. Acknowledge your current level and then embark on gradual improvement.

## Do Not Give Up; Draw Upon God's Power

Do not give up is of paramount importance. Not everything I do is something I enjoy. Once, I was promoted to manager, a significant challenge for a technical professional. Previously, in my technical role, I had the freedom to design as I pleased. Now, as a manager, I had to manage people, which required a different approach.

I loathed being a manager. I often contemplated returning to my role as an engineer, but the salary was lower than that of a manager, creating a dilemma. Every morning, I would sit at my manager's desk and tell myself, You must like this job; you are beginning to like this job; you now like this job. This was my daily self-motivation.

Despite my self-motivation, I continued to struggle as a manager. Eventually, I borrowed books on management and leadership from the library. After six months, I realized that being a manager was advantageous. My technical background allowed me to overcome any technical challenges. However, I discovered that managing people involved addressing various issues and guiding their growth. I transformed my management role into a pastoral one, fostering their development.

I gradually removed the mental baggage of my employees, ensuring that they would perform well regardless of my presence. I then began to enjoy my work. Human resources management is a complex discipline. Since becoming a manager, I have studied human resources management extensively, gaining a thorough understanding of management.

Brothers and sisters, do not be discouraged if you initially dislike something. Do not give up. Nothing is perfect from the outset; everything starts rough and gradually improves. I have faith in this, and I maintain an objective perspective.

Today, I may be a poor pastor, but I aspire to become the best pastor in the future. Today, I may be a poor manager, but I aspire to become an accomplished manager in the future. Today, my knowledge of management may be lacking, but I will strive to master it in the future. With this attitude, one is destined for a fulfilling life!

Life is full of challenges, but we are often controlled by bad habits, abandoning tasks we dislike. However, whether we like something is irrelevant. If you are a student, you must attend school. What else would you do if you did not attend school? Some individuals foolishly dislike school, from elementary school to high school. How can they cope? They spend eight hours a day in school, those eight hours are unhappy.

They excel at frivolous pursuits but lack competence in serious matters, rendering themselves useless. Therefore, **whether we like something is irrelevant. Do not give up; if you are a student, commit to being a good student**.

I love learning, and I am unsure why. Perhaps it was due to my father's discipline, but I am passionate about learning. While others spent their holidays playing, I spent mine studying. During my second year of junior high, I studied the third-year curriculum. During my third year, I studied the high school curriculum. I studied independently, always striving to advance. I enjoyed studying as a student, as it would have been miserable otherwise. I never gave up, regardless of the challenges, which is how I excelled in my studies.

I hope this does not discourage anyone. I believe God favored me during that time. Today, brothers and sisters, having God in your lives as Christians, God will also favor you. Back then, I could only speculate. I once ministered to someone who frequently retreated and gave up easily. I gave her a small task, a mock interview.

I assumed the role of the interviewer, and she was the interviewee. Tell me, why should I hire you? I asked, intentionally adopting a sardonic tone to provoke her. In response, she said, If you do not want me, someone else will. This is an example of defeatism.

In my position, I would have said, Boss, you must hire me! I am a valuable asset! If you do not hire me, your company will suffer a great loss! You need someone to work, and I am the person for the job. Who else would you hire? Fan Yuqi's appeal to the King of Qin and Su Qin and Zhang Yi's self-promotion all followed this pattern. How can you prove your worth? You cannot.

In the following days of ministry, this sister received immense comfort. She told me that during a period of weak faith, she opened the Wuling app on her phone and saw Hope Abounds Through the Power of the Holy Spirit, a sermon. Then, she opened the Tuming app and saw Hope Abounds Through the Power of the Holy Spirit, a prayer led by me. She was convinced!

Our God is a God who helps. Our God will surely strengthen you today. **As you contemplate giving up, learn to draw upon God's power**. Everyone must understand that **giving up is a terrible habit**. I will give you an example. I dig a well, but find no water after digging. I dig again, still finding no water, and then I give up. Then some people dig two more times, and water comes out, the reason to dig no water is to giving up too early.

Therefore, everyone must understand that **many things are not accomplished because we give up too soon. Learn to persevere**. I can persevere for ten or twenty years without any issues. I will live with a victorious mindset. Remember to **accept yourselves, establish a growth mindset, and never give up in face of challenges. Because our God seeks those who do not give up**.

## Accept Challenges; Cultivate a Victorious Mindset

When I encounter difficulties, challenges, or even greater adversaries, I often say, You think I cannot defeat you? If not today, then tomorrow; if not tomorrow, then the day after. I will continue to fight you until I defeat you, I often say, You think I cannot defeat you? I do not say this because I can already defeat them, but because I cannot yet defeat them.

I often ponder problems repeatedly, exhaustingly, but through continuous reflection, I overcome these challenges. After overcoming them, I realize that they were not so difficult after all. Once **the essence of something is grasped, it becomes much easier**.

For example, Newton devoted years to research, and the result was Newton's three laws of motion, which can be summarized on a single sheet of paper. I have ministered to individuals who were very difficult to minister to, people whom I thought I could not help. Those I can easily help I already know how to help; I accept the challenge of helping those who are difficult, as it forces me to grow.

At work, my boss assigns me many challenging tasks, which my colleagues consider to be difficult and unpleasant. I accept them willingly, because I want to solve these problems. Each time I solve a problem, I grow further. **The number of problems one solves in life corresponds to one's value**.

**Each challenge is a test of one's victorious mindset. One cannot be victorious without a victorious attitude**. With a victorious mindset, one accepts every challenge. Initially, the battle may be evenly matched, blow for blow but **with a victorious mindset, god will help him.**

Each time you overcome a challenge, you begin to experience joy, and you grow as a person. Growth makes you a happier person.

I am a very passionate person, and I am also a very happy person. I may write a book entitled I Am the Happiest Person. I consider myself the happiest person in the world. This happiness comes from embracing challenges! These challenges may be self-imposed, assigned to you, or thrust upon you unwillingly.

Do not be afraid or worried. Whether you actively embrace a challenge or passively receive it, a **victorious mindset is the key to victory**. Because **our God in heaven is looking for people with a victorious mindset. If you have a victorious mindset, our God will surely help you**. You will develop, It will be difficult for you to not be victorious. You will inevitably experience victory!

## Continuously Contemplate, Think, and Learn

God created humans with heads, not bottoms so people can continue learning. Heads are equipped with eyes, noses, mouths, and ears. Ears are for listening, eyes are for seeing, noses are for smelling, mouths are for speaking and eating. These senses are crucial. **God created humans to be capable of learning, thinking, and contemplating**.

I emphasize contemplation because every problem requires a period of gestation! **The gestation period is a lengthy one, if you want to resolve the problems, there is no shortcut, you have to go through continuous contempating**.

.A classmate of mine once pointed out that I am always contemplating matters and because **not contempating doesn't allow me to grow** I put **Contemplate, Think and Learn**. **Transforming the problems into plans, then execute them**.

Therefore, I divide **our tasks into two categories: exploratory problems, where the answer is unknown, and implementation problems, where the process is clear**. For clear tasks, the plan should be written clearly, specifying the required materials and dimensions. Unclear, exploratory problems require careful contemplation.

**All exploratory problems represent opportunities for growth. All challenging problems are exploratory problems**. **Start learning to be wise, wise people always contemplate**. Take Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei in the Shu Kingdom. Zhuge Liang advised Liu Bei to establish a tripartite alliance. This strategy stemmed from Zhuge Liang's constant contemplation of the prevailing circumstances. It ultimately led to the Three Kingdoms period, as depicted in Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

To **be wise, two things are necessary: a knack for interpersonal skills and a knack for task completion**. Those with both will excel at managing people and matters. Naturally, managing people and matters yields higher compensation than simply performing tasks. These are the skills that will continue to help people.

A sister came to me with her problems, she told me that when she was studying, she didn't study very well, she took some courses aboard but she still did not graduate. I gave her some advice, which is to work first because she is wasting her time doing it on her own. and recently her boss is starting to give her some administrative job.

I said, this is good! and I share with her how to work by managing people. **Doing jobs on your own is self-growth, but to manage people it help others to grow alongside with yourself. All you need is contemplate, think and learn**

Like human resources management, financial management, corporate management, what kind of jobs you need to improve on.

I need to share that **there is still a chance to fix things. But the more you dwell, the less time you will fix it**, so start growing on what you're lacking. I **wish that a person would enjoy the life they're living on their own life.**

This is what I want to share today, may God bless everyone!