Being likeable is actually very important. Some people think being likeable is a flaw. Today, I want to talk about how when we see someone being likeable, we think they are being sycophantic, or we feel that something is not quite right. If you read the Bible carefully, you will find that, for example, Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. As Jesus grew, everyone liked him. It is a terrible thing not to be likeable.
Today, let's ask ourselves, are you a likeable person? If you are not a likeable person, how can I advise you? Actually, my biggest difficulty as a pastor is liking those who I find annoying. But as a pastor, you still have to do it; even though you are annoyed, you still have to do it.
Later, I discovered that being likeable or unlikeable is intimately related to our lives. If you are unlikeable, it's actually a very serious problem. Not knowing how to make people like you is quite critical. If you meet a woman who everyone dislikes, don't marry her; if you meet a man whom everyone dislikes, don't marry him either.
1. Manage Your Own Affairs Well
The Bible records a person named Samuel. After this child was weaned, around the age of three, he was sent to the temple to follow old Eli. We all know that old Eli was a very wicked priest.
The Bible says that Samuel was very likeable. Whether it was Jesus, Samuel, or David, many people have this likeable personality. I can't tell you how to be a likeable person, but I can give you a few names for you to study.
Samuel had one characteristic: he was very obedient. If a person is obedient, they are considerate and try to understand old Eli.
What Samuel understood best was God's will. Samuel's childhood was spent in an environment without a father or mother. His parents only came to Jerusalem once a year to see him, bring him some things, and some clothes. For the rest of the time, Samuel basically had to learn to take care of himself.
Samuel was very good at managing his own affairs from a young age, so he was not annoying. Think about it: a child who always makes people feel that they can't handle anything on their own and needs others to help with everything is a nuisance. Actually, managing your own life is a very important quality.
If you can't manage your own life, how can you manage other people's affairs? You must learn to manage your life well, manage it in an orderly manner, and do everything properly.
Samuel was in a foreign environment from a young age, serving God in old Eli's temple, which was actually doing chores for old Eli. Can you imagine starting to do chores at the age of three? If you think about it carefully, you can imagine the challenges this child faced. Not only did he manage his own affairs from a young age, but he was also very obedient.
For example, the Bible describes a passage where Jehovah God said to him, Samuel, Samuel, and he went to find old Eli in the middle of the night: Teacher, did you call me? Old Eli said, I didn't call you. God called Samuel again to find Him, and old Eli said, I didn't call you. If someone calls you again, it is God calling you.
Samuel was very interesting. He wasn't like some children, who are like nuisances. Some children don't move when you call them over, no matter how many times you call them. Samuel was always available when called. He developed a character from a young age. He submitted to old Eli's authority.
2. Do Not Engage in Gossip
Samuel witnessed the bad habits of old Eli's family as he grew up. But in the Bible, we don't see Samuel going out to gossip. For example, he would not go out and tell the Israelites that old Eli was not good; he kept silent about it.
A likeable person has one characteristic: do not engage in gossip. Gossiping is very annoying. So, I think this person is amazing. Growing up in old Eli's house, how did he become like this? I think it was God's Spirit in him that made him like this, but Samuel himself was indeed a talented person.
Later, after Samuel heard God's words, he said, Here I am, Lord. Then God declared to Samuel the judgment against old Eli's house. The next day, old Eli said, What did God say to you? You must tell me the truth. Samuel told him everything God had said.
Samuel was very厉害. In such an environment, do you know if it was dangerous for him to tell old Eli the truth? Yes, it was. As his priest, God declared His judgment through Samuel. In the Bible, we never see Samuel looking down on his master.
Why didn't old Eli do anything to Samuel after Samuel told him, and why did Samuel and old Eli still maintain a normal relationship? Don't you find it strange? Actually, it was that Samuel was very good at handling interpersonal relationships. In his words and deeds, he never revealed even a hint of looking down on old Eli. Can you imagine that scene?
A person's mind and habits are formed naturally. Even though God, through Samuel's mouth, declared judgment against old Eli's house, why did old Eli still like Samuel's character? There were many great things in Samuel that are worth learning from and emulating. God raised up a prophet, Samuel, who was the most faithful priest. Samuel basically had no noteworthy problems. The most important thing for a person is faithfulness.
3. Handle Interpersonal Relationships Well
There are many things that make people dislike you, but the person who is disliked often doesn't even know it.
The ability to handle interpersonal relationships is closely related to a person's value system. Do you hate stingy people? Everyone does. Stingy people hate other stingy people even more. So, Samuel was a very interesting person. He always knew his position and knew who he was.
Faithfulness is a very important quality. It's not about siding with whoever has the most to offer. No matter what, knowing who you are is a very important quality. Some people, after being praised a few times, don't know who they are anymore, which is very dangerous.
Hagar was Sarah's maid. Sarah could not have children, so she said to her husband Abraham, Why don't you take my maid and have her give you a child? Later, she really became pregnant. After becoming pregnant, Hagar looked down on her mistress, so Sarah drove her out.
What did God say after she was driven out? Submit to your mistress. As a result, Hagar learned a heavy lesson and returned to her master's house, submitting to Sarah's authority. Many times, when people gain a little power or influence, they don't know who they are anymore, which is very annoying. You must know your place.
So, if you are a likeable person, you have a healthy relationship with those above you, those below you, and those to your left and right. You must have a healthy relationship with your colleagues. If you put your position in the right place, and they are your superior, then treat your superior well.
Some people don't know they are subordinates when dealing with superiors, and they don't know they are superiors when dealing with subordinates, which is an extremely chaotic state. They don't know they are teachers when facing students, and they don't know they are students when facing their teachers, and they don't know they are colleagues when dealing with their colleagues, which is a mess.
We have investigated and found that David is another person worth studying. David was very clear about his seniority. He was King Saul's son-in-law and also a general under King Saul. Did David, being so shrewd, know that his father-in-law wanted to harm him? Yes, he knew, but he still did it and truly became King Saul's son-in-law.
You will find that all likeable people in the Bible have one quality in common: pleasing God and pleasing people. David was very clear about his position, even when he was being hunted down. He knew his place. What am I? In the house of Israel, I am just a dog. Why do you hunt a dog? When we read these words, we always feel as if David is telling a story here, but he is not.
He really knew that in front of the master who was hunting him, he saw himself as just a dog. Such a person is amazing. You will find that the reason King Saul was not smart was that if he had used David well, he would have been very厉害.
In the Bible, there are countless stories like this – a pile of people who pleased God and pleased people, and a pile of people who angered God and angered people and were disliked. In the last lecture, we talked about having vision, which means having people in your eyes and things in your heart.
At a company meeting, one person saw which seat was for his leader and put a label on his leader's seat. When his leader arrived, he led the leader over so that the leader didn't have to look for the seat himself. The leader liked that very much. Some people are just silly and sit down themselves, not caring about anything else. In the end, those who are promoted are the ones who are capable of handling things.
Many times, I feel that being able to handle relationships well is good. If you can't handle them well, at least don't make them worse, but be strong and courageous. I think it's worth implementing, but that doesn't mean we should always be arrogant.
Our brothers and sisters should start learning to be more shrewd, know their position, know their rights, and know what methods to use to be likeable. Don't get your position wrong in the company. If you get it wrong, it's not good, like Hagar.
4. Pleasing People or Pleasing God
The Bible also records a person named Paul. Paul said, Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? If I was still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. What does that mean? It refers to not compromising on spiritual principles, rather than making relationships bad in social life.
If you read Galatians carefully, you will conclude that Paul was actually very厉害. He went to Jerusalem to manage the relationship with James, Peter, and John, the leaders of the Jerusalem church. James was the eldest, Peter was second, and John was third.
Actually, when he wrote Galatians, he created a split with the church represented by James. He was upholding the purity of the faith in Jesus Christ. He did not care about these famous people, only wanting to please God.
But don't you find it very interesting that Paul later wrote Galatians and, after a while, took all the donations to Jerusalem to offer to the Jerusalem church, which was headed by James?
James even said a few words to Paul, telling him that many people wanted to kill him. Paul was able to maintain a normal relationship with James. In what kind of situation do people see that if the purity of the gospel is involved, we can choose not to please people but only to please God? But don't be annoying for no reason, neither for God nor for anything else, just to be annoying, which becomes meaningless.
Paul was for the purity of the gospel, but in the end, he still maintained a healthy relationship with James, the one who was trying to harm him. Paul's character does not mean that he was not good at handling interpersonal relationships. Actually, he had his shortcomings in handling interpersonal relationships, but all in all, he was still towards his colleagues.
I think our brothers and sisters should know one thing today: if a person can handle interpersonal relationships between superiors and subordinates well, it is a very important key to being likeable. Knowing your position is very important; not knowing your position is very dangerous.
5. Being Competent
People who are not competent are very annoying. Don't think that you can just be all things to all people, not doing any work and failing at everything you do. That's why I ask everyone to do ministry work, because it is through doing things that you can adjust yourself and your state. People who are not good at doing things are hard to like. In the Bible, I think Jesus's carpentry work must have been pretty good. I think the work Jesus did was very authentic. If you can't do earthly work, how can you do heavenly work?
So, my principle is very simple: if you want to be a full-time co-worker, you have to do your job well first. This is a prerequisite. Without this, don't even talk about anything else. Not being able to work is not okay. For example, when cleaning, you struggle and make a lot of noise with the mop. It's obvious that you don't do housework regularly.
For example, when renting a house together, some people are very obedient and keep things clean and tidy. Some people see the mess but pretend they don't see it. You think it's easy to live with them, but why don't you realize that it's easy to live with you? When you can do things, your efficiency is high. Being competent is very, very important.
I recently decided to practice full-time co-workers doing things, doing them decently. Don't just shout Hallelujah loudly, and don't just be good at prayer, healing, and deliverance, and have a lot of faith, but have a messy living environment. Being likeable is not necessarily flattery, but also being competent.
In the Bible, Jacob was well-liked by his uncle Laban. Brothers and sisters should also start learning to do things. If you can't do things, it's Hard to be likeable. Handling interpersonal relationships, knowing your position, and doing things properly are all pretty good. I have also met some people who are good at talking, but can't do anything, which is deadly. You should then take a look and see which areas are unlikeable and annoying. If you change these habits, it will be easier and you will grow.
Think about Jack Ma in his younger days. If you had some qualities that Jack Ma liked, and Jack Ma became rich and famous, he would definitely come back to find you because you are a talent and have many great qualities. This is an opportunity. If you are generally disliked for your behaviour, what can you do? So, being petty, gossiping, and being greedy are all bad habits that people dislike.