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【Bible Study】Philemon Chapter 01 - Building a Holy Relationship with Fellow Workers in the Lord Jesus Christ

2023-12-06 3,092 Philemon Philemon Chapter 1 Philemon Chapter One Pastoral Care As Unto God Building People's Faith Not Taking Advantage of Fellow Workers

Introduction

Greetings! In this coming period, we will resume our systematic study of the New Testament, covering the books we have not yet examined. To date, we have accumulated a wealth of Bible study materials, which demonstrates our steady progress over the past years. We have completed studies on the Gospels of Matthew, Luke, Mark, and John, as well as Acts, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Philippians, Ephesians, and Colossians.

Among all the Bible study materials, I am particularly pleased with those on Matthew, Luke, Romans, Ephesians, and Hebrews. We are also diligently studying the Old Testament, and in the near future, we will complete the Bible study of the entire Bible. This reveals a character within us: not hasty but not slow, studying step by step. Previously, when studying James, I was considering whether to study 1 Peter and 2 Peter as well; I believe we should complete them. Philemon consists of only one chapter, and its theme is building a holy relationship with co-workers in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Background of the Letter

The Bible does not detail what happened to Philemon before this letter. In any case, he owes Paul a great debt of gratitude. A man named Onesimus, who was a slave in Philemon's household, escaped from his home. Without identification, he fled along the streets, eventually finding Paul either in Rome or Caesarea. I suspect it was during Paul's imprisonment in Rome. In those days, a slave's escape was a serious offense, akin to losing money for the master.

It is speculated that Onesimus stole a considerable sum of money from Philemon's house when he fled. Onesimus had a deep impression of Paul, knowing him to be intelligent, wise, and resourceful. After escaping to Paul, he began to care for him. At this point, Paul persuaded him to return to his master, Philemon. Onesimus was likely to be beaten to death if he returned, but in the short time he spent with Paul, he accepted the Lord Jesus. I believe Onesimus understood what it meant to believe and be filled with the Holy Spirit. From then on, Onesimus completely changed his attitude towards life. So Paul wrote this letter for him to take back to Philemon, to continue serving as a slave in his master's household.

Why didn't Paul simply help Onesimus gain freedom, instead of insisting that he return to Philemon? This is a complete manifestation of Paul's theological system. Philemon may have had many slaves, not just Onesimus. Philemon was also likely a businessman, a prominent figure. How did Philemon come to owe Paul a debt of gratitude? Paul also mentioned in his letter that Philemon had established a church in his home. Another interesting matter is building a holy relationship with co-workers in the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul's writing is of a high standard, not something an ordinary person could achieve. I have inherited Paul's true teachings, and my speaking style is similar to his, because I learned from him.

As for how Paul and Philemon began their relationship, and how Paul met Philemon, we do not know. However, from the content of the letter to Philemon, we can infer that Paul likely led Philemon to faith. Philemon must have encountered very difficult circumstances, either business failure or life-threatening situations; something had certainly happened in his household. We have no way to investigate the specifics, but it is evident that Philemon followed Paul in believing in the Lord.

Later, Paul ministered to him, and Philemon's tragic situation was reversed, possibly related to his business. Paul's strength is that he can minister to government officials, businessmen, and professionals, as well as those who clean the streets—this is what I admire! Thus, Paul established a relationship with Philemon, and later, Philemon proved to be quite capable, starting a church in his own home.

Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker— also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier— and to the church in your house: (Philemon 1:1-2)

So this letter was not included in the Bible without reason; it is because this letter highlights building a holy relationship with co-workers in the Lord Jesus Christ. This is both the background and the theme of the letter.

Building People's Faith

The beginning of Paul's entire letter is about building Philemon's faith. You will find that my entire pastoral style is also about building faith, not just scolding or reprimanding people and being done with it. One aspect of what I do is to deal with people's problems and bad habits, and the other aspect is to build people's faith. Building people's faith is a key component of the entire pastoral system I have established. Philemon was actually the pastor and leader of a small church.

Philemon was appointed as a pastor by the Apostle Paul, meaning that the Apostle Paul held authority over him. This letter speaks of the holy, healthy relationship between Paul and his co-worker Philemon, which must be built on faith. If you want to pastor, this pastoral process must be a process of building faith. How do you build faith? Paul said that he often mentioned Philemon in his prayers, often thanking God for Philemon, which sounds quite pleasant.

I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people. (Philemon 1:4-7)

Building people's faith is very important in pastoral care. Why do many people come to me to be ministered to? Because my ministry is effective, I build people's faith. To have effective ministry, you must build the faith of those being ministered to. Once you build their faith, they feel comfortable. In earlier years, some brothers and sisters established relatively private one-on-one relationships with me. Now it is different; more and more people need to be ministered to. If everyone established a private relationship with me, I would be too busy. Some people ask: Why do I feel comfortable after talking to you? The reason is that I know how to speak! I don't say other things, I only say things that build faith. Many people feel relieved when talking to me because their faith is being built up.

If you don't know how to build people's faith and only suppress them, you are definitely not a good pastor. Some pastors seem to have high standards on the surface but are actually forcing people to discern good and evil. Forcing people to discern good and evil for him is also good, because the role of a small pastor is to force people to discern good and evil, to reveal what is inside them—this is called coordination. When the small pastors hear this, they immediately understand: The teacher plays the good guy, sings the white face, and we small pastors sing the black face. This is not a matter of white face or black face; it is about building people's faith. Even if you don't know how, I still hope that you will, and of course, if you can resolve people's problems without forcing them to discern good and evil, that is also very good.

My relationship with my co-workers is very delicate; they like to discern good and evil with me. I tell them that they are not qualified to discern good and evil with me, but they still want to discern good and evil. I am both the object of their discernment of good and evil and I have to pastor them at the same time. This knot is really difficult to untie. But I have a trick: on the one hand, I can untie the knot. Although I am the object of their discernment of good and evil, as we talk, they realize that they are wrong. This is pastoral training.

So far, I think we still have a lot of room for improvement in our pastoral skills. But compared to ordinary people or ordinary churches, our pastoral care is definitely powerful, because we build faith. Why are our relationships so solid? Because I build your faith, instead of knocking you down with one punch and stepping on you with a billion feet. I lift you up with one punch and then build your faith—how good is that relationship! So when some people discern good and evil with me, they still think they are right. Who knows, as they talk to me, they realize they are wrong and even feel like they owe me. I say: You do owe me. Because I know how to speak; as I speak, I make people feel like they owe me. Everyone must know that it is not enough to just build faith; we must not take advantage of our co-workers.

Not Taking Advantage of Co-workers

Paul is a treasure from head to toe. Of course, a pig is also a treasure from head to toe; its liver, heart, and intestines are all treasures. But Paul does not satisfy people's appetites, only to have them turn into feces later. Paul is full of value, edifying people and not taking advantage of co-workers. Have you noticed, when reading the Bible, that Samuel never took advantage of anyone either?

Samuel said to all Israel, “I have listened to everything you asked of me and have set a king over you. Now you have a king as your leader. As for me, I am old and gray, and my sons are here with you. I have been your leader from my youth until this day. Here I stand. Testify against me in the presence of the Lord and his anointed. Whose ox have I taken? Whose donkey have I taken? Whom have I cheated? Whom have I oppressed? From whose hand have I accepted a bribe to close my eyes? If I have done any of these, I will make it right.” “You have not cheated or oppressed us,” they replied. “You have not taken anything from anyone’s hand.” Samuel said to them, “The Lord is witness against you, and also his anointed is witness this day, that you have not found anything in my hand.” “He is witness,” they said. (1 Samuel 12:1-5)

Not only did Samuel not take a penny's worth of advantage of others, but neither did Moses, Paul, or Jesus. As a pastor, never think about taking advantage of people all the time. I care about this and avoid taking advantage of people. Some people think it's foolish not to take advantage when there is an opportunity, but those who take advantage of others are the foolish ones. I want to establish a holy relationship with my co-workers. The reason we don't take advantage of people is that our blessings come from God.

Brothers and sisters, tell me, have I ever taken advantage of anyone? I don't take advantage of anyone. If you come to stay in my house, it would be a bit impolite if I didn't stay in yours. It's not to take advantage or because I can't afford a hotel, but because I really want to establish a close relationship with you. When family members come, where else would they stay but at home? But some pastors are not like this; all they talk about is wanting to take advantage.

Why do some people not take advantage of others, like Paul? And why do some people have to take advantage of others? The problem lies in whether this person has ability. Paul is full of ability, and people like me really have no lack of ability. Even if I don't have it, I can learn it quickly. Many people can't compare to me. When doing something together, I become so great as I do it. Some time ago, I visited my former boss, and he was curious about where I got so much time to do all the things I do. However, we both have the same amount of time. He goes through the days, and so do I. Unless he is in Canada, and we are half a day apart due to the Eastern and Western Hemispheres. If we all follow Greenwich Mean Time, when he passes one o'clock, so do I. It's a competition of efficiency.

If a pastor always wants to take advantage of people, everyone will mention it with a contemptuous tone, disliking that person for being opportunistic and telling others to stay away. To open your mouth and ask for money hurts feelings. Our Chinese Mingding Destiny is so powerful that not everyone is qualified to give offerings. If some other churches heard that someone wanted to give an offering, they would definitely be overjoyed.

I never take advantage of people. Why don't I take advantage of people? Because I eat what I can afford to eat, and I don't eat what I can't afford to eat; I buy what I can afford to buy, and I don't buy what I can't afford to buy. How much money do you think I can spend in my lifetime? Some people are insatiable, but even when I go out to eat noodles, I eat the cheapest ones. The other day, we went to eat buns, and they kept inviting me to eat, but I just ate two buns. One bun is three dollars, two buns are six dollars, plus a bowl of porridge is nine dollars. And the porridge is unlimited, so I can drink four or five bowls of porridge. Adding two buns is definitely enough for me.

I enjoy hosting people. When friends come from afar, I treat them to Hai Di Lao hot pot. Someone asked me what the best thing to eat at Hai Di Lao is, and I said it's the free mushrooms. Eating the mushrooms fills you up halfway, and then you can just order a little of everything else. This isn't about taking advantage; the business does it on purpose to attract customers like me. I fill up bowl after bowl of congee, and then order two buns to be full. Of course, one bun is enough, but my point is I eat what I can afford, and I don't eat what I can't. If I can't afford two meals, then I'll just eat one. That's why I don't take advantage of others. Besides, I have plenty of skills, so even if I eat, I won't be short of that bowl of congee.

I conduct myself according to the rules and don't take advantage of others, so you don't have to worry about me borrowing money from you. If someone tells you that the teacher borrowed money and didn't pay it back, and the debt collectors are after him, that's a liar. First, I don't spend much money; second, I can create value. Do I need to take advantage of others? I'm the one who gives advantages to others, not the other way around. Paul also didn't need to take advantage of Philemon. Philemon had a lot of money and many slaves, while Paul didn't even have one. Philemon's slave Onesimus should be serving Paul, but Paul didn't want to take advantage of Philemon.

I don't want to take advantage of others because I feel bad afterward, no matter how good the opportunity is. Only people like Paul can establish healthy and holy relationships with co-workers in Jesus Christ. Moreover, he said that many things are on Paul's own account, meaning that if Philemon didn't want to forgive Onesimus for the money he stole, Paul would definitely pay it back for him.

If he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge it to me; I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will repay it—not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self. (Philemon 1:18-19)

As long as it's on Paul's account, he will definitely pay it back. The amount of money Paul handled was enormous, and he really wasn't short of money. The problem is whether people have the ability themselves, so people must cultivate skills. Never do one thing and have it not work out, because in the end, nothing will work out. Paul can do everything, so later I was determined to train our pastors, so that even if you can only do one thing, you must be able to do it well. If it doesn't work out, then nothing will work out. The most terrible thing is when people can't do anything in their lives, and they end up accomplishing nothing. So, don't ever try to take advantage! When you listen to my sharing, you'll find that I don't even take advantage of my family; instead, I keep giving. A person who has God's presence will never be short of money. If God is with you, you are a creative person full of creativity. How can you lack money?

Establish a Relationship Where They Owe Me

Philemon also owes Paul. The relationships Paul builds not only don't take advantage of others but also give others advantages. In the end, people take advantage of Paul! After others take advantage, Paul doesn't just keep quiet. He also points out that these people owe him. Owe me - this is a very important concept in our pastoral care. If our pastors ask those they shepherd to do something, you should not do it for them. I am setting another rule: I don't allow our pastors to ask those below them to do things. If the person being shepherded is a traffic policeman, and the pastor's car is impounded, and the pastor wants to call the policeman to help get the car back, we don't do that.

A pastor must never do this. They cannot develop the people they are shepherding into downlines for selling direct sales products; otherwise, it will be a mess. In the church, what I dislike the most is when people are either selling insurance or selling MLM products. When people get sick, instead of promoting Jesus Christ, they immediately promote their health products. How is a relationship of owing me built? First, you must truly give people grace; second, you must truly tell people and let them know they owe you, so you can shepherd them.

Philemon, who earned so much money, should think hard about what would have happened if it hadn't been for Paul. He might have ended up like Onesimus. We should not only do it but also say it, because when we say it, the relationship is right. This is called a co-worker relationship. For example, one day, one of our co-workers came back from eating out, and I said, Why didn't you pack a portion for me? I just said it, and he felt like he owed me something. Actually, I don't need people to pack for me. I just like saying it. Next time, if someone really packs for me, I will pay them back in full.

Everyone must know that liking to take advantage is a bad habit. If you don't give grace to others and don't let others take advantage of you, that is also a bad habit. If you foolishly let others take advantage of you, and it is not a pastoral relationship, then you are being deceived. This kind of relationship is established because of the pastoral relationship. If you just grab someone on the street and say, Why didn't you pack a portion for me? they would think you are crazy. Therefore, the greater must serve the lesser. I often make people feel like they owe me, which is a very important concept in the pastoral process. In fact, they really do owe me. Our brothers and sisters must remember not to pay off gambling debts for others. In the church, we must develop the concept of building holy relationships. I don't encourage everyone to give money when someone's business is not doing well, or to pay off drug or gambling debts for addicts. These are not good.

Never give people money. We don't build relationships with money but with training to bring people out of curses and into blessings. Of course, giving someone a bowl of noodles is normal. This kind of relationship is a serving relationship. Because of Paul's service, Philemon was blessed, which turned him around from a very miserable situation. Isn’t bringing people into blessings, into service, into the grace of Jesus Christ, because of our service? How good it is to build this healthy and holy relationship, instead of being greasy together! So Paul wrote this with great meaning, and you must learn from Paul. We give grace to others, but we also have to say it.

Entreat Co-Workers With Love

You will find that we don’t talk much about submission. We wouldn’t say: Please lend me 100,000 yuan. We also wouldn’t say: Just listen to me, you have to do it this way.

Yet I appeal to you on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus, am appealing to you for my son, Onesimus, whose father I became while I was in chains. (Philemon 1:9-10)

Never use administrative authority with co-workers, because using administrative authority is the worst and most terrible solution. You will find that we rarely talk about submission in our church. It's not that I demand you to submit, but if you are willing to submit, then submit; if you are not willing to submit, then forget it. I appeal to you on the basis of love.

So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. (Philemon 1:17)

This is what a superior says to a subordinate. If Philemon considers Paul his partner, he should welcome Onesimus as he would welcome Paul himself. Do not abuse your administrative authority, because abuse only commands people to do things, which gives people a very uncomfortable feeling in the relationship. Rather, entreat co-workers with love, so that everyone is not out of compulsion but out of voluntariness. If you want to do it, then do it; if you don't want to do it, it doesn't matter. It's all out of voluntariness. That's how our church does things. We talk about admiration, not obedience. If a person doesn't admire their pastor, how can they obey? It's just forced obedience, but what's the use of forcing someone? Entreat co-workers with faith, which means not using your administrative authority.

Don't Be Distant

Being distant is not a good relationship. I won't say I'm your superior because I'm your partner, building God's glorious church together in Jesus Christ, so there's no need to be distant.

Besides, prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers. (Philemon 1:22)

Paul wanted to stay at Philemon's house, so Philemon prepared a guest room for him. Isn't it said not to take advantage of others? Actually, this is not taking advantage of others, but not being distant. It's not that Paul can't afford a few days in a hotel, but because they have a very good relationship. For example, when I go to a place, the parents of our co-worker are very lovely, and they let me stay at their house. If I'm already near their house and I still stay in a hotel, can that be done? I feel like the relationship is very good. Someone typed that they also have a place, and I will definitely stay at their house when I arrive. It's just that I have some bad habits, so they have to be a little patient with me when I'm at their house.

If someone becomes distant at the drop of a hat, they don't know what the relationship is. I can give many examples of people not knowing what kind of relationship they have with their co-workers, and they become distant immediately. When the parents of one of our co-workers come, I treat them well. When they are about to leave, I have to give them a parting gift, so I call my co-worker and ask them to send me their home address so I can send the gift via logistics. As a result, the co-worker is still being polite with me, saying that it's not necessary. Actually, that's being distant and not understanding the relationship.

That's not anything else, that's a relationship. I might be a little distant with his parents, but why is he still being polite with me? That's a healthy relationship, so don't be distant, otherwise, won't the relationship become distant? Our brothers and sisters don't know how to build relationships. You see, when I build relationships, I pull them closer, but when you build relationships, you push them away.

A person who serves God must never act like a god or an angel, just lacking two wings. They become distant at the drop of a hat. If you have reached the relationship of co-workers, then don't be distant. Of course, if you are not distant with me, I won't take advantage of you either, because we are people who work together in Jesus Christ. We are a group of people who have seen through the little trivialities of life, building God’s glorious church on earth and manifesting God’s glory. So, what’s the point of being distant?

Paul asked Philemon to prepare a place for him to stay. If he couldn't say it in a letter, he would call. At this time, the Northeast dialect would come out: Prepare a place for me. If I don't stay at your house, where will I stay? That's the idea. Paul had to stay at Philemon's house, and he couldn't be chased away. He just relied on it. Who told Paul and Philemon to have such a close relationship! They're already at the doorstep. Is it silly to still go to a hotel?

The Foundation of Doing These Things is Doing Them for Jesus Christ

I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. (Philemon 1:6)

If doing these things are all done for Jesus Christ, then it will be easy. Who is asking you? I am not asking, but doing everything for Jesus Christ, and I don’t need to owe you a favor. Everyone must know that people like Paul are treasures. When he lives in Philemon's house, Philemon's business will be good. When there is an opportunity, I will stay at your house to see if that is the case. People who carry God's glory are amazing. So, what I've been saying all along is that you must build a holy relationship with your co-workers in Jesus Christ! Paul went everywhere like this. He naturally exudes the fragrance of Jesus Christ, which is remarkable.

We will share this chapter here. I don't know if it has brought confusion to everyone. If you look for study materials on Philemon, you shouldn't find what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is unique to our Chinese Mingding Destiny theology. The things that others talk about are really not good. Of course, some people will criticize me for saying this. If I don't praise myself, who will? I'll give myself a thumbs up.

May God bless everyone!

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谢莲坚
The content is good, but the self-praise makes it feel a bit narcissistic.