Facing Negative States

Today, I will mainly talk about how to deal with negative states or how to use them. Many people want to confront these negative states. Have any teachers or parents ever said to their children, Can't you focus more? There's nothing wrong with wanting to be more focused. But how do you achieve that state of focus? It's not as simple as we might think.

Calmly Accept What Has Happened and Then Use It to Our Advantage

Today, I want to share two main themes. First, we must calmly accept what has happened and then use these things to our advantage. There is a thing called the Hard Zone, and a Soft Zone. The Hard Zone is where the more you deny negative states or emotions, the stronger those negative states or emotions become. Have you ever experienced having a song suddenly pop into your head while you're doing something important, a song that has nothing to do with what you're doing, but you need to concentrate on what you're doing? A chess champion named Josh Waitzkin wrote in his autobiography that he discovered the issue of dealing with distractions starting from when he was ten years old. At that time, he was a child, and he began participating in chess competitions. He started competing against adults, which required long periods of time, and it was difficult for him to maintain focus for so long. Moreover, when faced with immense pressure, the human brain can become uncontrollable.

Once, during a competition at the Manhattan Chess Club, Josh was struggling to deal with a very complex chess game, but a song suddenly came to mind. He tried very hard to get the song out of his head, wanting to calm down and think, but the more he tried to expel the song, the stronger the melody became. The end result was that the song in his head ruined the game. I have had similar experiences during exams. There are some sounds in your head, and the more you try to get rid of them, the stronger they become. Often, children's focus faces such problems. Then the author of the book commented on this matter: if this person heard a beautiful song on the way to a competition or at home, this song would play in his mind for days and nights. Usually, it's not a problem, but once it came to a competition or exam, he would deny himself, asking why can't I focus at such a crucial moment? Instead of driving away the sound, the more he tried to drive it away, the louder the sound became.

Then the author, when conducting research or giving speeches, would discover that this phenomenon is particularly common among people under great pressure. If you are someone in a high-pressure environment, this situation is very common; there will be some sounds lingering there, especially when they want to accomplish something, they are more prone to losing focus. Many people call it the Hard Zone, which is trying hard to deny their negative states. There are also some examples, such as when we watch TV dramas, some halves, who have been dumped by boyfriends or girlfriends, while drinking alcohol, say that they don't like that person. In fact, the more they deny this feeling, the more depressed they become. The more you try to deny your negative emotions, the stronger your negative emotions and states become. To summarize this principle in one phrase, it's called the Hard Zone. There is a fable about a person who has to walk across a road full of thorns, with two choices: first, remove all the thorns from the ground, or second, put on soft shoes for themselves. Many students or professionals have always been in a very hard state, unable to cope with pressure. Their resilience is particularly weak, and they will try very hard to deny some things, causing their negative states to increase, staying in the Hard Zone. So, knowing the Hard Zone and the Soft Zone, how do we deal with this problem? When facing negative situations like anxiety and fatigue, denying it or suppressing our emotions is not the solution.

Why are there so many sex crimes in China now? Because suppressing one's emotions goes too far. So, instead of denying and suppressing your negative states, think about how to make them work for you. To reiterate, take the example of the chess champion Josh Waitzkin. He said that gradually, he would pay attention to the annoying musical sounds in his head and begin to be disturbed by previously unnoticed noises. The sound of distant ambulances and the sound of nearby spectators passing messages would all disturb him. He was always disturbed by this noise problem until one day he suddenly realized, why can't I think to the rhythm of the song? From that moment on，he knew to dare to face his problems. Start training to make his attention, his level of concentration more flexible, especially in this era of increasing competition, you can't expect your environment to be a quiet environment, you can't expect your children to always live in a greenhouse. The only choice is to face these problems.

How I Handle Negative Emotions

Let me give you another example from my own experience, how to use negative emotions for my own benefit, or how to continue moving forward while acknowledging the existence of negative emotions. There are many times when I feel very tired, and I believe everyone experiences this. Should you go to sleep at this time? I myself know that if I indulge in sleep, I can sleep super long hours in a day, so sleeping is not the solution to the negative state of fatigue, this is my understanding. I myself have tried it. Before, I would sleep for an afternoon on Saturdays and Sundays, but I was still tired because I didn't have faith. The state of fatigue and negative emotions is essentially the opposite of faith, so should you sleep at that time? I don't think you should sleep. But you're also very tired, so should you pretend that you have no fatigue at all and do things? You shouldn't. It's like pretending you don't know the negative emotions inside, what should you do then?

Here's my own method: lower my expectations. I don't deny this negative emotion; I know my state is not good now, so I'm OK with it, I accept whatever I accomplish. If your child's state is not very good, then you can accept whatever they accomplish. But everyone should also know that you must let them try hard to transform, to accomplish this thing. You can't say you'll rest by watching TV. That's nonsense. Resting is not a method to recover from a negative state; it's about letting them continue to do this thing while lowering their expectations. Even if you're a bit tired, you just do it hazily, so what if you do it again after you finish it once? This is a very soft attitude; don't deny it. If your child is really tired, you can't say you can't be tired, because it's useless to say that. If you say that, the negative states will be heavier, right?

Negative Emotions Work for Me

So be a little softer, acknowledge that negative state exists, and at the same time use that negative state. I know I'm tired, so I lower my expectations. Or I know there's music in my head, so I go with the rhythm of the music. I know there may be some anger present, what to do? Then I go with the emotions of anger, following that flow down. When tired, then I just do it, anyway, I know I'm doing this thing attentively. But I won't rigidly tell myself what to do. I just go with that flowing state, this is the best summary I can make, called use it for my own benefit. In English, there's another summary, called going with the flow. It's going with that flow, going with that flowing thing.

If it's rough waves, you go up and down; if it's gentle, you go smoothly. You don't go against that flowing trend. You're angry, then you're angry; you're sad, then you're sad, but at the same time, use this state, it can be reflected in what you're doing, there's no need to avoid or deny it. It gradually builds your confidence and slowly restores your positive state. This is called the process of the Soft Zone. I repeat it again, it's very simple, don't deny it. I admit I'm tired, I admit I have some anger, I'm not perfect, I know I'm a little angry here, but I want to let this negative emotion be used by me, and that's it. You go with that flow, very flexible. A very flexible attention is actually a state that can help people grow better.

Alright, next, I will share with you that if you hope your child can pursue excellence, if you hope your child or yourself can be above and not below, be the head and not the tail, you can listen more carefully to the following words. When you yourself are following your own emotions, or following your own intuition, you will reach a state where you will reach a state of using intuitive thoughts and ideas to solve problems. This actually comes down in the same vein as the concept of the Soft Zone; it's an advancement. That is, you are particularly good at acting according to the state of your spirit's intuition. If I feel angry in my spirit, I am angry, but I am not saying that I am letting go of my anger, but that I am flexibly using my anger. This is a concept that everyone needs to understand very well.

The Example of the Chess Champion

Okay, then the next concept, if you hope your child or yourself can be above and not below, be the head and not the tail, everyone can pay attention to the following concept. I'll give you an example to talk about this, also the example of the chess champion. At that time, in the competition, he described it like this, I'll just read it, I have a lot of agreement with this description. He said: Now, I am in a distant foreign land, sweating profusely in the heat, trying to find my favorite art from the chess pieces in front of me. Above me, thousands of spectators climbed onto the rafters to watch, whispering. I had difficulty getting into the state, not aligning with the rhythm of the competition. Even for masters, sometimes chess feels like home, sometimes it's completely foreign, like exploring a foreign jungle for the first time. I have to work hard to find my way home. My opponent is the Indian national champion, and between us is the contested chess game. We played for three hours and thought for 20 minutes. Then something strange happened. I had been exploring my way out. It was only the first round, I had no ideas, the pieces were unfamiliar, and the chess game was strange. After about ten minutes of thinking, I began to lose my way in various chess games. It was a strange feeling. At first, you sit there looking at the chessboard, thinking about different chess paths, and when you figure out various complex situations, your mind suddenly opens up, until this consciousness dissipates, and only the inner energy flow remains. After that, thinking operates at the speed of electricity, and complex problems are solved intuitively, you increasingly enter the soul of the chess game, time flies, the concept of 'I' no longer exists, what exists is only a happy focus, pure thinking, absolute stream of consciousness.

This seems a bit mysterious, the following is even more mysterious. He said, Suddenly an earthquake broke out, everything began to shake, and the lights went out. The rafters exploded with a loud noise, and people ran out of the building, but I sat quietly. (At that time, there was really an earthquake) I knew what was happening, but I experienced it from inside the chess game. Between 'me' and 'not me', pure thinking and the consciousness of the thinker, a surreal combined force was generated. I was not watching the chess game, but observing myself and this swaying world from the silence of focus. After that, I solved this chess puzzle. The earthquake and the extinguished lights suddenly inspired me. My thinking suddenly became clear, everything surfaced. Soon, I made a move and won the game.

Everyone must remember that thinking operates at the speed of electricity, and complex problems are solved with intuition alone. I myself have experienced such things, that is, when you are highly focused and can grasp the flow of your own consciousness very well, you will enter a very focused state, at that time you can solve many things with intuition. Intuition tells me that it should be done this way, it should be done this way, it must be right; intuition says there is a problem in this place, then there must be a problem in this place, very, very accurate.

The spirit of man is the spirit of God. There are so few secrets for us to explore in this spirit. Our spirit is a very powerful existence. Each of you has such a supernatural ability, the ability for thought to operate supernaturally. Complex problems will be solved by your own intuition alone. When your mind thinks, it feels that this is what it should be done, it just should be done this way, you can reach such a magical state. And this can be acquired through training. Of course, before entering such a state, everyone must know the concept of the Soft Zone, do not deny your negative emotions, but use your negative emotions, move forward with the flow of your intuition. This is the first step, then there is a state of high concentration, which will be a higher step.

How to Train the Flexibility of Attention?

Let me talk about how to train.

I have talked a lot about how to use your negative emotions and painted a beautiful blueprint for you. So, how to train the flexibility of our attention? This question is very important.

First of all, everyone should pay attention, that is, never expect your environment to always be comfortable. You will always live in a greenhouse, you will always live in a comfortable zone. Those who have been living in the comfort zone are basically led by the devil. That is, when the devil raises you in pampered conditions, he will kick you away with a snap.

Do not expect a quiet and superior environment. For example, during the exam, do not expect your environment to always be so perfect. Especially in some important occasions, such as when you are talking about some important business, do not expect that the state of your communication will always be very harmonious and very harmonious. No, not at all. There are many, many negative emotions and negative states. What we need is to be able to deal with it calmly in any environment, just like just now.

Here, I will still use an example from the autobiography of a chess champion to talk about some systematic training methods. I will summarize this training method. When this kind of disturbance occurs frequently in our lives, we must frequently deal with negative emotions. This is systematic training. It is not to wait until the critical moment before you think of this principle and apply it, but to deliberately create a state of inattention in your own life. You can even create some bad states for your children.

Let's see how this chess champion trains. When he was playing chess in the bedroom, he deliberately turned the music volume to the maximum. Sometimes he played his favorite music, and sometimes he deliberately played some music that he didn't like, weird music, even noise. He also went to some chess shops. At that time, chess shops were usually places where unemployed people stayed. They were filled with smoke. He chose to play chess in that kind of place. He could have chosen such a quiet place at home, but he had to choose to train deliberately in such a noisy environment. He even went to the park square to play chess. Not only was there smoke and noise, but also people pointing fingers beside him.

When these confusions occurred frequently, he trained such a style. He is very good at creating chaos and can get out of chaos and defeat his opponents very well. This is the result of long-term training. I believe that everyone will have different gains when they train. Everyone should deliberately train their negative emotions, and everyone will have different gains. This chess champion is particularly good at dealing with this kind of chaotic situation. He will mess up the chess game and then move from this chaos to victory.

He also has some other training methods. He himself knows that for top players, the flexibility of thinking is very important and he needs to constantly improve it. So he is constantly looking for various new ways to make himself invulnerable. Later, he also practiced Tai Chi push hands, which is martial arts. When he feels uncomfortable, he does not instinctively avoid this discomfort, but accepts it very calmly. Especially when he is injured, which often happens in martial arts, he is hit and it hurts a lot, and the power of Tai Chi is very strong. When he was injured, he deliberately did not take painkillers, but tried to transform this pain into a positive feeling. That is to say, pain will be a positive state for him. He instinctively began to look for challenges instead of avoiding problems.

Of course, there are some more damaging tricks. I don't recommend that you do them, because they are not good habits. He said that since he was a teenager, he has put things in a very messy way. Why did he put things in a mess? He needs to use his brain. He sorted out the entire house in his brain first. He deliberately messed things up and couldn't find them, and then he sorted out the entire room in his brain. There was a picture of the entire room in his brain. This is a very powerful training method, but I don't recommend that you do this, but this training method is really for everyone to learn from. Deliberately create all kinds of negative emotions in life to train yourself.

The above are the two main points I want to share with you today. Let me go through the things with you again. The most important thing we talked about today is how we should use negative states and emotions. Each of us has many, many negative emotions: fatigue, anger, inattention, and so on. When facing these emotions, do not deny them. The more you deny it, the stronger the emotion will be. From that time on, start to know how to face your problems bravely. Start training yourself to make your attention and concentration more flexible, especially in this era of increasingly fierce competition. You cannot expect your environment to be a quiet environment. You cannot expect your children to live in a greenhouse forever. The only option is to face these issues.

Okay, next, I will tell you one more thing. If you hope that your children can pursue excellence, if you hope that your children or yourself can be above and not below, be the head and not the tail, you can pay more attention to the following words. When you follow your own emotions, or follow your own intuition, you will reach a state where you use the ideas and thoughts in your intuition to solve problems. This is actually in line with the concept of the soft zone. It is an advancement. That is, you are particularly good at acting according to the state of your intuition in the spirit. I feel angry in my spirit, so I am angry, but I am not saying that I indulge my anger, but that I flexibly use my anger. This is a concept that everyone needs to understand very much.

Example of a Chess Champion

Okay, so the next concept, if you hope that your children or yourself will be above and not below, be the head and not the tail, you can pay attention to the following concept. Let me tell you about it with such an example. This is also an example of a chess champion. When he was in the competition, he described it like this. I will read it out. I have a very, very strong sense of identity with this passage. He said: Now, I am in a remote foreign country, sweating profusely in the scorching heat, trying to find my favorite art from the chess pieces in front of me. Above me, thousands of spectators climbed on the rafters to watch and whispered. I found it difficult to enter the state and could not keep up with the rhythm of the game. Even for masters, sometimes chess feels like home, and sometimes it feels completely strange, like exploring a foreign jungle for the first time. I have to try to find my way home. My opponent is the Indian national champion, and the chess game that is being contested is placed between the two of us. We have been playing for three hours and have been thinking for 20 minutes. At that time, a strange thing happened. I have been exploring my way out. At that time, it was only the first round. I had no ideas. The chess pieces were strange and the chess game was also strange. After about ten minutes of thinking, I began to get lost in various chess games. This is a strange feeling. At first, you sit there looking at the chessboard, thinking about different chess paths, and feel enlightened when you figure out various complex situations, until this consciousness dissipates, and only the inner flow of energy remains. After that, the thinking operates at the speed of electricity, and complex problems are solved intuitively. You get deeper and deeper into the soul of the chess game. Time flies, and the concept of 'I' no longer exists. What exists is a happy concentration, pure thinking, and absolute stream of consciousness.

This seems a bit mysterious, and the following is even more mysterious. He said, Suddenly, an earthquake broke out here. Everything began to shake, and the lights went out. The rafters exploded in a loud noise, and people ran out of the building. I was still sitting quietly. (There was really an earthquake at that time.) I knew what was happening, but I was experiencing it from inside the chess game. A surreal synergy was produced between 'I' and 'non-I', pure thinking and the consciousness of the thinker. I was not watching the chess game, but observing myself and the swaying world from the silence of focus. After that, I solved this chess puzzle. The earthquake and the extinguished lights suddenly inspired me. Since he was a teenager, he has put things in a very messy way. Why is it so messy? He needs to use his brain to sort out the entire room in his brain. He deliberately messes things up and then can't find them. He has already sorted them out in his brain. There is already a picture of his room in his brain. This is a very powerful training method, but I don't recommend that you do this, but this training method is for everyone to learn from. Deliberately create all kinds of negative emotions in life to train. The above are the two main points I want to share with you today.

Deliberately Create Some Negative Emotions to Exercise Yourself

I want to basically go through the things with you. The most important theme I talked about today is how to use your negative state emotions. Each of us has negative state emotions, fatigue, discomfort, sadness, anger, inattention, and so on. But when facing these emotions, don't deny them. The more you deny them, the stronger the emotions will be. On the contrary, you should treat them calmly and think of a way to make these emotions work for me. Follow this flow, stream of consciousness, the flow in the spirit and continue to move forward, so that your attention becomes very flexible and soft. Always be able to persist in one thing without being overwhelmed, and this state requires us to train systematically. Systematic training is to pay attention to being very focused in daily life, and also try to frequently create some negative emotions and some negative states, and gain exercise and improvement in them, and be sublimated. Finally, you can train your spiritual characteristics and make your intuition very, very sharp.

Example of Phelps

Finally, you can achieve being above and not below, being the head and not the tail, and doing things with your spirit. The example I just talked about, Phelps is a famous American swimmer. Phelps has won more gold medals than some countries. How does he train for swimming? His coach is a very strange coach, but the coach's emotions and Phelps are very good. He has been with him since he was a child. He specializes in making trouble for Phelps, so Phelps' attention is very flexible. Once, Phelps' swimming goggles broke. Although he can swim and can open his eyes in the water for a period of time, when you swim quickly, you can't open your eyes at all. So Phelps swam one or two hundred meters with his eyes closed, and he swam in the opposite direction. It was not just fifty meters. He swam in the opposite direction with his eyes closed, and won the world championship with his swimming goggles off. You don't have to train your children to become world champions, but this method is an effective method. You can try not to try it and think about living this life honestly. But I know this one thing myself. If I don't deliberately exercise like this, I will suffer more offenses myself. If I don't deliberately seek, think and yearn, I will decline more and more.

Law of Increasing Entropy

There is a law in me called the Law of Increasing Entropy, which is a law in physics. It is just the degree of chaos in a system. What does it mean? In the absence of external force, the degree of chaos in a system will always increase. For example, if you drop a drop of ink into the water, it will immediately spread out, and the degree of chaos will increase and merge together. And the only decreasing system in this world is human beings. In other words, a person, as the saying goes, sailing against the current, if you don't advance, you will retreat. If you don't deliberately train yourself, a person is retreating. If anyone doesn't learn from him, God is also saying that losing a thirsty heart will fall at any time. Faith is a state, not a get-out-of-jail-free card. You need faith at all times. Paul, such a great missionary, what he received was faith, and he would receive grace at any time. This is God's law. Don't wait until difficulties come before you think about these things. I hope to train myself first to deal with these difficulties, and be able to live out abundance, live out beauty, and live out God's glory. This is my choice. So what is your choice? God's choice is people who pioneer with faith, just like Paul, a great judge and a university scholar. Isn't it good for him to live in pampered conditions? Why go to Europe to preach hard? You must deliberately train. If you don't deliberately train, people will follow the laws of the world and move towards chaos.