Introduction

Good day, everyone. I will begin the fifth lecture in the series On Getting Things Done. What are we discussing? First, personal conduct, then getting things done. These two terms, personal conduct and getting things done, may sound rudimentary, but they are fundamentally sound. Whether a person knows how to conduct themselves is something everyone can discern, and similarly, whether they know how to get things done is also readily apparent. In truth, regardless of our concern for face or lack thereof, we are all quite aware. Thus, in my pastoral duties, I have observed a particular phenomenon: People often seem fine on the surface, but when it comes to actually doing something, they falter. When they engage in action, their true character emerges. It is surprisingly common for people to make mistakes when they act.

Therefore, these discourses on personal conduct and getting things done are merely outlines. We must continually strive to train individuals to be proficient in both personal conduct and executing tasks effectively. I will now present the fifth lecture in the series On Getting Things Done, focusing on interpersonal interactions in the course of getting things done.

Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

I've considered the essence of relationships between people, and it inevitably manifests in the purpose the relationship serves. What is the relationship used for? Sometimes, it's for idle gossip. In my years of study, I've found that interactions with certain people leave one feeling drained—these are unhealthy relationships.

Interacting with others can be refreshing and joyful, which indicates a healthy relationship. An unhealthy relationship might revolve around gossiping. Many relationships involve casual chats, which might create a sense of closeness, but is that closeness genuine? Often, it is not.

It seems to me that relationships built through working together are healthier. What about those who don't work together but instead engage in eating and drinking, forming what we call fair-weather friends? Then there's gossiping, which leaves one feeling uneasy. We might think someone is a close friend because we share meals and drinks together after church, perhaps at a café or roadside stall, discussing everything. But what is being said? Often, it's complaining about their supervisors at work, criticizing their pastors, or focusing on irrelevant matters.

I offer this advice: if you find yourself in many such relationships, be cautious, as you are at risk of being corrupted. Why? Because the conversation is filled with idle gossip, which they share with others. Consider this: when someone tells you a secret and asks you not to share it, will the other person keep the secret? The next day, someone else will spill it.

You see this young man, handsome as he may be, is behaving like an old busybody. Is this not hateful? It's the mark of a busybody. So, what should you do? If you ask a friend for a loan of, say, ten thousand dollars, and they actually lend it to you, pay them back promptly. This shows they are somewhat reliable. But if the moment you ask for money, they react as if the sky is falling, and they run away faster than anything, what do you do? If you ask, why are you like this? And they say, “oh, I have a stomachache from the toilet run. This is called “a lazy donkey going to grind, if not pulling, then pissing.

So, I must ask, what is the point of spending time building unhealthy relationships? Instead, build healthy relationships—relationships where you can discuss meaningful matters, cooperate, and clarify issues. Or even discuss a book and plan how to implement its teachings.

I rarely see people gathering in cafes after meetings to discuss serious topics over a meal. No one discusses the first chapter of Matthew, Ecclesiastes, or Genesis. What do they discuss? I eavesdrop and hear only mundane, gossipy things about the neighbors. Because I find this distasteful, my relationships are free of such things.

The key is to offer something positive. Does your presence improve the situation, or does it create more chaos, conflict, and gossip? Does your presence bring liberation? That's the question.

Don't think I can't engage in small talk; I'm quite capable of it. Why? Because you can't just sit at a table, order food, and eat in silence. That would be awkward.

But neither should you engage in idle gossip. It can be exhausting, especially if there's nothing meaningful to discuss. Small talk and gossip are not the same. Small talk avoids sensitive topics, while gossip involves spreading rumors and private matters, which can be shameful if repeated.

For instance, one can comment on the weather. Once you’re done with that, talk about Mars, then the moon. Nobody would come after you for that. There’s no need to settle any accounts.

We can talk about that issue, but if the news involves politics, that's a tricky area. Take Taiwan, for example; you might not know if your acquaintance is Green or Blue. If you speak carelessly and the other person is Blue while you are Green, it's better to avoid the topic and stick to neutral subjects like the weather.

Talking about current events or various topics can still be informative. Take Yi Zhongtian, for instance, who is skilled at small talk. He wrote a book called Broad Talk of Local Dialects. In it, two people might debate why northern China uses the term 剧 (jù) for opera, while southern China uses 戏 (xì). This is a free and interesting discussion that examines regional differences in language, like how northern China uses 京剧 (jīng jù) and southern China uses 黄梅戏 (huáng méi xì). Someone might then add that in Shaanxi, the term 秦腔 (qín qiāng) is used. I offer this just as an example.

The healthiest relationships arise from working together on something that inherently produces value, like interior design. Discussing the style to use, such as Scandinavian design, which is popular at IKEA.

Someone might say, I really like 'Wabi-Sabi', but don't misunderstand; Wabi-Sabi is a Japanese term that translates to imperfect beauty. As you work, you can contribute something of value.

Practicing Communication While Working Together

Practicing communication while working together is not the same as gossiping. If you don't work together, what can you talk about? Often, it's about where to find good food, like the char kway teow at Chinatown or the new dim sum place. But these relationships are not optimal or healthy. So, how can you communicate clearly during collaborative work? I’ve developed a knack for presenting matters clearly because I’ve practiced it. Have you ever attempted to explain something only to find yourself unable to articulate it clearly? This is because there is mental confusion.

If you can gradually explain things clearly, it's because you've practiced. If you tell your boss how something should be done, remember that your boss already assigns you tasks. Some bosses don't even specify what to do; they simply tell you to work.

Then, when you present something, and the boss rejects it, saying it's not what they wanted, and this happens repeatedly, you might ask, What exactly do you want? If they still can't say, you might decide to quit. It's impossible to work like that if the boss can't define what they want.

It's exhausting, isn't it? Sometimes, the same happens between spouses. When deciding what to eat, the husband asks his wife what she wants, and she says, Anything is fine. So, they go to McDonald's, but she refuses. He asks again, What do you want? and she says, I don't know; anything is fine. He suggests a hamburger. “No”. Then what? I dunno. Aiyoh, this presents the husband with a near impossible quandary. It is difficult to say, difficult for the wife to say, and it is the husband’s suggestion that is rejected.

In my experience, I have often observed that when someone says they don’t want something, it's hard to please her. You see, when you are doing something you must be clear. So, how do you become clear? Everybody, don't forget what I have taught you; the reason I can express clearly is that I have clear methods for doing so. If you are unclear about something, don’t do it. If you are unclear about the blueprint, don’t do it. Do you understand? If you are unclear talking about it, don’t do it either.

Many claim they’ll take it one step at a time, but this only leads to failure and incompletion. Clarity in speech is essential. First, set clear goals and objectives. Second, define clear strategies. Third, employ effective methods. Follow these steps to clearly articulate the matter at hand.

This is developed through working together. In a company, you must write documents and business correspondence. Even when renting a house, you must draft a clear lease agreement to avoid problems.

I can articulate these issues clearly. The rental agreements I use are written word by word by myself. I write very clearly so that it is clear what my responsibilities are, and what the tenant's responsibilities are. This is so that we can speak with clarity and practice with each other. During collaborative work, everyone will have their own perspective, so what do you do?

You can't insist on having your way because that will backfire. People will agree but then leave you to do all the work alone, which defeats the purpose of practicing communication. Can you speak clearly together? If not, failure is inevitable.

Speaking, listening, reading, and writing are fundamental skills. The inability to articulate clearly or describe matters effectively indicates a lack of primary education. You must practice speaking and clarifying matters. If you become agitated or flustered while speaking, calm down and speak slowly.

Exploration is key to clarifying issues and aligning perspectives. If you can do this, the workload efficiency will be better. Why? Because you know how to speak.

The church is a training ground. If we only say Hallelujah, we only train people to say Hallelujah. Instead, we train people to communicate effectively, for communication reflects one's value system. What exactly is your value system? That is most interesting.

I must tell you, a value system is difficult to change. For instance, consider the act of working diligently. Some might ask, Why should we work diligently? And the boss might respond, If you don't work hard, how will I make money? Do you understand what this response conveys? I doubt anyone will work diligently under such management.

He only thinks of himself. Did he even think of why someone may want to work hard? Some bosses say, If you don't work hard, you won't have a future! These words are somewhat better, but they are not useful. If the boss doesn’t know how to speak and only thinks about himself, will the employee resign? For sure, he will.

I feel very emotional, people only think about themselves. Then can you still speak eloquently when you only think about yourself? You will most likely not. Because you're only thinking about yourself, you'll make things murky and confusing. Is this because he is motivated only by his own needs? So, I really want to take everyone back to a review of elementary school reading, writing, and speaking, at least to be able to sort out what is in our heart.

Adjusting Personalities While Working Together

Some brothers and sisters often ask me, Pastor, do you think there is something wrong with my personality? I say, The problem is big. How do you know if there is a problem? If things come to a standstill when you are working together, that's when there is a problem. Why? Because everyone's minds are not working toward a common place. To be a person, some are petty-minded, competitive, and jealous. Who will work with you if you are poking at a beehive? Some might say, Why are you so petty? But then says You're the one who's petty! Then they begin to argue, isn't it?

Therefore, when we are working together and solving problems, our personalities are on full display, and the thoughts in our hearts are fully revealed. Do you all understand now? For example, when an employee resigns, why might they resign? You see, we are working hard taking you all with us, but they may want to eat, drink, and have fun, so can they travel with us? They go somewhere else, do they not? It is important for us to train the people well and to look into solving people’s problems.

But some people, they do not want to be engaged in such activities. They want to indulge in leisure and entertainment, traveling and sightseeing. Those who have different aspirations cannot walk together. Their goals are divergent. However, if we share the same aspirations and goals, yet people leave, what is the reason? There is a problem with their personality, some flaws. Isn't it so? You need to probe why people do not want to work with you. Oh, it turns out I am quite selfish. Shouldn't we adjust our personality? Human problems are problems of personality. Why must we constantly engage in work? When we work, our problems are fully exposed. Do you understand?

If your personality is not right, who would want to work with you? Working with you would be a constant source of worry. Some people simply do not know how to conduct themselves, nor do they know how to do things, and they always wear a sullen face. How can that be pleasant? Their words sound like enemies, and their personality is that of an enemy. Isn't that deeply troubling? Once they start working, they reveal their limitations. Isn't it so?

In fact, I will tell you, one must know that things are not important, personality is important. You must remember this sentence. Deep down, I have a set of logic: things are not important, people are important. We establish a church, isn't it to gain people as if catching fish? If I value things more than people, then we should just disband. We should not be like the Journey to the West, with the four disciples going to the West to obtain the scriptures. If the leader were like Zhu Bajie, they would have disbanded long ago, for Zhu Bajie always thinks about disbanding.

Therefore, the most important issue for people is to adjust their personality, especially when encountering a state of ambiguity while working. Everyone must understand that when working, problems are solved from a state of emptiness, chaos, and disorder. Initially, the problem is not known at all. In this state of emptiness and chaos, where do you clarify the problem in an organized manner? Within one's personality. Within one's personality, you will clarify the matter.

The other day, I stayed up for two nights because we bought a piece of equipment, fortunately not too expensive. I wanted to adjust this equipment and get it configured for use. It is an enterprise-grade firewall network device. I said, Why is it like this? This thing is just upsetting to look at, it does not seem right.

But in reality, at this moment, you have a choice: Oh, I cannot figure it out, so let us just forget it, forget it. Forget it, quickly make a cup of coffee, there is no energy to handle this thing. That is one kind of personality. Another kind of personality is, I just cannot figure out your little tricks? As a result, when everyone else was asleep, I got up, I got energized, and went on the night shift. Alas, in the end, I understood the matter clearly.

I understood the matter clearly, read the documents, and analyzed the case studies. Oh, the design of this thing is to solve this problem. It took two days to figure it out. This is a lesson in faith and patience. Faith and patience, I tell you, all problems, all creative things, are the result of faith and patience.

Just take our 101 course, 201 course, they are the result of faith and patience. Is it hard work? It is hard work. Why is it hard work? The matter cannot be explained clearly. It is very difficult to explain things clearly. So you will find that our 101 course, I have read some of the things people have written, I will not mention their names, they are also very famous. The things they wrote, their 101, 201, 301 plus 401 are not as good as my 101.

My 101's logical system simply abstracts the entire Christian faith, the theories in the Bible, into the most essential things, isn't it? How did it come about? I wrote for a day and did not come up with anything, I wrote for two days and did not come up with anything. In the blink of an eye, a month passed. Oh my goodness, when I walked out of the office, my face was dark. They saw me and said, Teacher, what is wrong? I said, Never mind, do not comfort me, it is okay. Another month passed, and I still had a dark face. Why? I could not write it, I was upset. I went through other people's courses one by one, I looked down on them, and I could not write my own.

As a result, after three months, oh, how I looked at the things I wrote, I felt they were so good. Who wrote this? I persisted for three months. Among us, is there anyone who knows how to sprout beans? How many days does it take to sprout beans? Six days. If you just sprouted the beans on the second day, and you say, Why have the beans not sprouted yet? What is that? Isn't it so? So sprouting beans takes six days.

For example, Chinese New Year is coming, I prepared a plate of garlic, click, soaked it in water on a plate, and after half a month, garlic sprouts grew out. Cut the garlic sprouts down, click click click, then add some shrimp, add some meat, right, I am telling you that garlic sprout dumplings are really delicious. The garlic sprouts I sprouted myself, it takes half a month, you must prepare the garlic at least twenty days in advance.

So I am telling you that faith and patience are the core of personality. That is to say, when we encounter problems, look at how we interact with people, do we have that kind of patience, isn't it? When we interact with people, do we show contention, jealousy, comparison, envy, jealousy, hatred? What is the temper inside us? Until now, some people still have lingering fears. Why? They have worked with those people, and they will never dare to do it again. Why? Their temper is too big, their personality is not good.

We must all know to adjust our personality in working together. I tell you, when working together, personality is too important. How we speak is very important, people's mental health is personality health. Do you understand this time? Adjust your personality while working. If you want to accomplish things, you must first make yourself a good person. Is that clear? Accomplishing everything requires faith.

In earlier years, I had a very hard time writing in English. It would take me an hour to write something that others could finish in five minutes. It was really tiring. But it gradually got better. Now I squeeze it out. If you want to do things, you cannot do without explaining things clearly. You need to draw pictures and write words. People like me who like to work, do not touch anything that is about eating, drinking and having fun, so to explain the work clearly, must I not go through pictures and words?

If you want to explain it clearly from a state of emptiness and chaos, does that not require personality? If you want to understand things, must you not learn from others? Imitation and inheritance, isn't it? Therefore, self-righteous people work very hard, their self-righteousness will be fully manifested.

Cultivate Your Influence in the Process of Working Together

God wants us to be above and not below, so how can you be above? You must be above in the process of doing things. You have influence.
In fact, being above and not below is not the same meaning as our being above and not below. Many people do not understand what Jesus said, the first will be last, and the last will be first, because the great must serve the small. In the process of doing things, do you have influence? If you only sit behind a large office desk and direct others to do this and that, without caring about the specific execution details, do you think such a person will have influence?

Everyone left the meeting dejectedly, walked out of the boss's office door, and then whispered together. Then they came back. Oh, the boss said that this matter cannot be done. The people next to them said, Treat it normally. What does treat it normally mean? Continue to fool the boss, anyway, the boss does not know. Therefore, if you have no influence in doing things, and you sit in the boss's position, and you do not have that ability, how can the work be done? I still do not understand how that work can be done.

I have many feelings about this. Cultivating one's influence is not about making people helplessly fool you, but about making people willing to follow you. People are willing to follow you because as long as they follow you, the matter can be accomplished; as long as they follow you, doing things will be efficient; as long as they follow you, they do not need to spend time going through your approval. If they have to go through your approval, and you say, Oh, I have to explain it to him. If they cannot explain it clearly, they will say, Look, the teacher asked me to do this. Oh, I cannot do it. You say, I am able, but I cannot tell him that this matter cannot be done. Wouldn't that be troubling? The people below are worried, and he sits there leisurely drinking tea and reading the newspaper.

So where does this influence come from? It comes from your creativity. You have proposed a goal, proposed a strategy, proposed a method, and then direct it downward. Then I tell you, the next morning, how is our matter doing? This direction is wrong, this is not right, that is not right, adjust it over. Later, people summed it up and said, Following you, we take fewer detours. Why? You have influence, you not only have influence, you really know how to do things.

Then think about it, if you do things a lot, you will have theoretical guidance, if you do things a lot, you will have philosophical guidance, your feeling will be very accurate. Then after you do things a lot, your management is no longer management, your management is training. You start teaching people this matter should be done this way, this matter should be done that way. I ask you, is this work easy to do? It is easy to do. People are willing to follow you to do it, and as a result, they are above and not below. This being above and not below is not like the way general people are high above, saying things that they do not know if they can do, anyway, they just issue an order and do it like that.

Experiencing God in Working Together

In the process of doing things, you will interact with people, and after you interact with people, people will draw a conclusion, that is, working with this person, things can be accomplished. Why? He has God's presence. Isn't it? Working with that person, oh, I do not want to do it again, kill me, I do not want to work with him on these things again. Oh my goodness, spare my life. Isn't it? Why? They experienced demons.

Therefore, God wants to bless the work of human hands. The Chinese Mingding Doctrine used to be talked about a lot, now it is talked about a little less. You work, and God blesses what your hands do. If you do not work, what does God bless you with? No blessings at all. Isn't it? You read Deuteronomy, chapter 28, verses 1 to 14, isn't it that God blesses what you do, so that everything you do is blessed?

What does it mean to be blessed in everything you do? No matter what you do, God is with you, and if God is with you, you will definitely experience God in doing things. Then earlier we talked about practicing speaking in doing things, adjusting your personality in doing things, where to adjust it to? Adjust it to be like God. Isn't it? Doing things without God's presence, only with demons' presence, wouldn't that be ruined? I must tell you that where there is no God's presence, there must be demons' presence. Those with demons' presence must have a dirty heart, it is that simple a principle, they cannot do things well.

Therefore, experiencing God in working together, this logic is also very simple. When God created the universe, created all things on earth, He assigned Adam and Eve a job to manage what God had created. You cannot hand over the job of managing back to God. Isn't it? For example, Adam called all the living things on earth, and pointed to the living things, saying: This is called a dog, this is called a pig, this is called a horse, right? Naming them.

If you say, Oh, God, what name should I give it? Oh, God, you find the name yourself. I think about it, I cannot think of it. God, you still tell me the answer. God said, This is your job. You say, No, I will hand over the job to God. Okay, God handed over the job to you, and you handed over the job to God, God handed over the job to you again, and you handed over the job to God again. What will happen in the end? God said, Forget it, do whatever you want, I will find someone else.

Isn't it? This is your responsibility. God calls us to establish a church, this is the responsibility God has given us. Establishing a church is good for blessing people, but, I hand it all over and do nothing. Can that work? That cannot work. In fact, I am telling you, after the Chinese Mingding Doctrine has sorted out these things, when you look at it again, many of these things are very strange. They just like to hand things over to God.

It is really good to experience God in the process of working together. Guess what I am planning to do. Recently, like when I was writing the 101 course, I always have a strong sense of dissatisfaction in my heart. What do I want to do? I want to train everyone well, train everyone to be people who can listen, speak, read, and write. Many people never grasp the key points of listening, speaking, reading, and writing, and they just talk nonsense, which makes me anxious.

So what to do? I cannot do so much work alone. So I am thinking, I have to organize our brothers and sisters together. Those who have sales talents, let's organize them together and write a sales 101 course. Those who have accounting expertise, let's also come together, maybe write an accounting 101 course, isn't it? If it is speaking skills, we can also do a 101 course.

You come to us and feel quite busy. You say, Teacher, I already have a lot of work to do, then do one more, right? Do one more. What did we come to this world to do? We did not come to this place to be like raising pigs. After raising pigs, the entire pig is a treasure. Raising someone like us is not as good as a pig, wouldn't that be troubling? Experience God in working together.

Recently, I have limited physical strength and limited abilities, but I really want to get these things out, a design with Chinese Mingding Doctrine characteristics. I really hope that this place will truly become a place to bless people. Many people regret that they did not have the opportunity to go to school in their lives, then come to us and study hard. Even if they are in their eighties, they can still study and learn, so that we can live out God's image.

May God bless everyone! Goodbye, brothers and sisters.