【Bible Study】Proverbs 18: Judging A Person's Wisdom Through Relationships With Others

Bible Study: Proverbs

Wise people have healthy relationships

It has been several months since I started studying proverbs. Has everyone become smarter yet? If everyone has become smarter ever since we started studying proverbs, then we have reached the goal. If you want to know whether or not you have become smarter, you need to look at your relationships.

We have to understand that now we must face the punishment for our foolishness in the past, or if you are wise, then you will reap the fruit of wisdom.

An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends, and against all sound judgment starts quarrels. (Proverbs 18:1, NIV)

**If the people among us have a very weird personality, they are foolish.**People with good relationships may not be very smart, but they are not foolish. People with weird personalities are foolish. We can see if someone is smart through their relationships with others. Everyone, ask yourself, what kind of person am I? Don't always assume that others are treating you unfairly. And don't think too highly of yourself either. Why is it that you are always the one who always ends up being targeted and manipulated?

I learned a lesson over these past few years of service, that people always seek their own desires and think that they are always right. They think that everyone on this earth, even his parents, has wronged him. Even if someone talks very smart and acts well, he has a bad relationship with his parents, he is foolish. Don't ever think that they have been wronged by their parents, the problem is within themselves.

Fools find no pleasure in understanding, but delight in airing their own opinions. (Proverbs 18:2, NIV)

Generally, a person's selfishness can often be deduced through their preferences. Especially, for those who are selfish even with their parents, they will treat others poorly as well.

Wise man's principle for relationship

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24, NIV)

People who make friends recklessly and randomly are no good. Their fate will be caused by their foolishness. In this verse, it talks a lot about friendships. Friends will always talk to each other, they will never be silent when together. If they have nothing in common and they don't have anything to talk about together, then they can’t be friends.

There was a young girl who came to Singapore to study, but then the church became her place to make friends. She likes to make friends with people who have personality problems or negative influences. I advised her but she did not listen, as if she can't live without being around those individuals.

Later on, I came to realize that foolish people will always be stubborn. If her friends sat in a circle, she would be there too. When church service is over, she likes to leave with those people and her friends. Not getting along with others is foolishness, but making friends without selecting is also foolishness. When we read this passage, we can realize that Proverbs is talking about wisdom and knowledge. People need the wisdom to survive.

If someone tried to trick a stranger, it would be very difficult, but if someone tried to trick a friend of their own, then it would be really easy for them to do so. So you guys should be careful when making friends. Don’t be like that girl who made a bunch of bad friends. In the end, she couldn’t stay in Singapore so she went back to China. However even in China, she still made terrible friends, this girl is just an idiot. The best blessing that I can give her is disciplining her.

The words of the mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream. (Proverbs 18:4, NIV)

What people say from their mouths is as deep as water, this is not a good word. Because when water is deep, people will die if they fall into it. But if you have wisdom, you will be the blessing of many people, we can see what kind of a person someone is by who they are friends with, and who they associate with.

“The lips of fools bring them strife, and their mouths invite a beating. The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.” (Proverbs 18:6-8, NIV)

This chapter is talking about how people talk, but it's not just that, it is also talking about the things that are brought out of people's relationships with others.

When wickedness comes, so does contempt, and with shame comes reproach. (Proverbs 18:3, NIV)

I don't like making friends. But am I have friends? I definitely do. But I have my own criteria for making friends: Firstly, the friend must be worth befriending; secondly, this friend should love me and have the ability to love me. You can ask these questions: Can this friend love you? Will he take advantage of you? Make sure that you don’t make a friend who just eats and drinks every day. When something happens, those friends will disappear quickly. Or you end up with a friend who doesn't disappear when things get tough, but they can only watch you and share in your troubles, which is equally useless.

Hence, both a person's relationship with God and their relationships with other people can reveal their level of wisdom.

Your relationship with God is the most important

When I walked into the church for the first time, the first song they sang was this: Although Jesus is king, he is willing to be your friend. I was so moved that I started to cry. That was the time when I begged for help, but no one listened. That was the time when I most needed a friend. I didn’t know there was a God on this earth who wanted to be friends with me. Later on, I won't join in with those who eat and drink every day, I just need God, I don’t need any other friends.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24, NIV)

I don’t know what reaction you had when you believed in God, but I know that I was very moved because God helped me when I was in pain and when I was poor.

The human spirit can endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear it? (Proverbs 18:14, NIV)

When someone doesn’t have God, their heart is very sad and dry. Our spirit needs God and his word. Our best friend is Jesus, he makes our spirits happy and makes our hearts glad. Can everyone understand why I love God so much? Is it not the best choice in the world to be friends with Jesus? Wouldn’t that be such a good life to live? My best friend is Jesus.

Sometimes I am surprised, everyone says they believe in God but true believers are scarce. However, if you follow God’s word, read the Bible, and obey them, then you can become a true believer and your spirit will be filled with joy. God is our king, our savior, our elder brother, and he died for us. If you can understand this, then it's good. I want you to make the same decisions.

Being one with God is true one

An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends, and against all sound judgment starts quarrels. (Proverbs 18:1, NIV)

When everyone is one with God, then they are real one. Do you think that just because he is a preacher that he should be your friend? No. In the New Testament, all of the Pharisees were called preachers, but they weren’t friends, they were called a breed of poisonous snake.

The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. (Proverbs 18:10, NIV)

The most important relationship is with God, if you have a good relationship with God, you will receive real wisdom and you will be one with God. If you have a good relationship with God, then you will be one with his believers. However, if you are one with God and try to associate with someone who isn’t, it will not work.

I found a rule, if our church is very close to God and another church is also close to God, then both churches will be very close and have a good relationship with each other. What does being one mean? Being one means we walk the same path with God.

If we preach to normal citizens, they might believe and be a little more open-hearted. However, if we try to preach to a pastor, then he will not listen and he may tell you something like, "You do your own way, I do my way. God gives different people different gifts. Then I have to keep silent because they can't accept such a perspective.

The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. (Proverbs 18:10, NIV)

Once your relationship with God is good, you will automatically be comforted. If we become good friends with Jesus Christ, we will serve according to Jesus' will, so that the heart of Jesus’s heart may be comforted.

There was a brother who had cancer. The pastor of his church asked, "Brother, I haven't seen you for a long time. What have you been doing lately?". The man said, “I got cancer.” The pastor said, "Have you gone to see a doctor? Did you go and check it out? Have you received chemotherapy or electrotherapy? Shall I introduce you to a doctor?"

Other members of the church also said, "Brother! I will pray for you!" After a month, when the man met them again, he asked them, “Did you pray for me?". But they said, "Oh, I forgot this." What is this? This brother has participated in many of fellowships before, which can be seen as mingling with various friends. People within these groups said that they would pray for him, but they didn't.

The brother then told them, “I am often with you guys, yet when I got cancer, you guys did not care for me, only the pastors at Mingding church prayed with me. I finally found real love, I found real love with Christ.” I serve with lots of passion. Actually, this is not due to anything. If you love God, you will love other people with real love.

Humility comes before honor

I have been seeking the Lord Jesus for many years, but I didn't know that the Lord Jesus is love. So brothers and sisters, when you meet the Lord Jesus, can you take him seriously? If you can take him seriously, then you will find that there aren't too many new things in what I have been talking about for the past few weeks. If a believer can't put the Lord Jesus as first, it is a curse.

The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.(Proverbs 18:10, NIV)

Investing your time in the Lord Jesus is absolutely worthwhile. Brothers and sisters, we should know,

Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. (Proverbs 18:12, NIV)

Honor is not received between other people, but rather, it is the honor given to you by God. Humility is also humility in the eyes of God, not in the eyes of humans. Humility in God's eyes is when people realize that they cannot do it, and then they come to seek God and trust him.

Someone once told me: "Those who claim to be humble are not truly humble." In reality, they don't understand what true humility is. Why do I know? Because I earnestly studied God's word, I later discovered that three people in the Bible who spoke of their own humility: Moses, Jesus, and Paul.

Matthew 11:29

“By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am “timid” when face to face with you, but “bold” toward you when away! ”2 Corinthian 10:1 “

These people have relied on God to such a point that they are righteous in God's eyes. They think that they are not good enough, but when they rely on God, they are good. So what I'm trying to say is that I hope you can become good friends with God.

The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out. (Proverbs 18:15, NIV)

Jesus is wisdom. If you want to be wise like him, you need to be a humble person in God's eyes.

A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. (Proverbs 18:16, NIV)

What is a person's gift for? Is it for bribery? No, I tell you, humans cannot come empty-handed in search of wisdom and knowledge before God. What should they bring with them? They need to offer their lives to God. In the beginning, you may not want to dedicate your life to God, so you need to start with the tithe. Remember, offering ten percent of your income to God is only a starting point, the most important offering is to dedicate your life to God.

I have concluded that people should spend more time with wise people. I used to want to seek out someone who is wise, but that was until I met the Lord Jesus and realized that he was the wisest of the wisest. What is a wise person? Someone whose wisdom exceeds our imagination. We may not necessarily understand what they say, but we accept it unconditionally. Because a wise person doesn't lack anything, no lack of money, or no lack of wisdom, they don’t want anything from you. What can I give a high person? I am like a piece of dust, I can’t give anything to him. All I can do is to receive things from him. It's great to find God. My soul is comforted and satisfied, and I am willing to dedicate my life to him.

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.(Psalm 59:16, NIV)

Because of God, I can enjoy peace. He is a noble and wise person, how could I not dedicate my life to him? If I don't dedicate my life to him, then I am foolish. He doesn’t want anything from me, he just wants to give me life. If one day God says to me, "Are you willing to die for me? Are you willing to dedicate your life to me?" Don’t say, "I have to think about it." If you say that, then God doesn't need you anymore.

Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” “Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, “You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.” “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?” (Matthew 19:16-20, NIV)

Would Jesus respond like this, "That is great. You already have eternal life. You can relax and await its arrival peacefully?" Of course not!

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me. When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. (Matthew 19:21-22)

The most important thing is not about giving money to the poor, it's about sacrificing it and then believing and following Jesus. But the young man had too much money, Jesus knew this and that was why he asked him this. Do you think that what Jesus asked for was too much? No, it wasn’t. You must be willing to listen and follow the words spoken by a wise person.

The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. (Proverbs 18:10-11, NIV)

There are a lot of problems that money can not solve. In fact, when some people have too much money, it can become a problem. Why will you make it your fortress?

A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. (Proverbs 18:16, NIV)

If you can dedicate your life to God, money won’t be a problem.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21, NIV)

What are you talking about? What kinds of friends are you making? Brothers and sisters, if you want to be a Christian, be a resounding one, be one that is good friends with Jesus. You have to know what your friends like and what they are thinking. Very close friends will help each other. Do you guys know what kind of a person Jesus is? He is God who came to the earth and died for our sins, three days later he rose, and he used this to he is the true God. He is power, wisdom, and knowledge. He is everything to us. So, when you come before God, why would you argue with Him?


A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel. (Proverbs 18:19, NIV)

If your friend did you wrong, can you convince him to make it right? You can’t.

One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. (Proverbs 18:9, NIV)

We should acquire knowledge, wisdom, and understanding from a young age. Otherwise, If someone is not wise and knowledgeable, then they will make bad friends, and when they make bad friends, they will not live a good life. Why do they befriend harmful people? Because like attracts like, and people form groups with similar characteristics. If you are a harmful person, others will treat you as such. So we can discern if a person is wise or not through his interpersonal relationships.

I often advise some brothers and sisters not to associate with harmful people. But they don't listen and they claim that they want to bless those people. Can we bless the ones we can bless? We should know we can only change ourselves, we can't change anyone else.

Someone says, "I want to be a blessing to my family." But do you know what the blessing is? Some churches emphasize the importance of money. If you want to bless somebody, you need to give money to that person. Is this blessing? No. It is corruption. Everyone has his own definition of a blessing. If someone can't accept your definition of blessing, then we can't bless him at all.

You should make friends with sincere and honest people. If you just want to gain something from people, then forget it. Brothers and sisters, many pastors who want people to come to their church are for the sake of offering. What are we after? We just want to bless them. Because I am not to seeking anything from you, I dare to correct you. If you come, I won't rest until I have turned you into a person who receives blessings.

There are many examples of foolish people. But the wise will bring themselves before God and build a closer relationship with Jesus the Lord. You can discern if a person is wise or not through interpersonal relationships and his relationship with God.

May God bless you all!

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